Should I kill myself this week

[finish.me]

supposed to see my bf in 5 days, starved for 8 days because i wanted to look decent, stopped talking to my parents and cut contact with them because theyd been abusing me,now im missing them and i felt so disgusting that i cut all over my face and binged on a shit ton of food, broke out because of keto rash or something, i dont wanna live or do anything or work or move around and i dont have the energy to be around anybody ever again. i dont know if i should check out yet even though nothing interests me and never will

 

[avoid_slow_death]

If you ever need to talk, I will listen. I'm so sorry you are feeling like this and I truly hope you find what you need to be happy.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate to nothing being interesting. I want nothing to do with life at all. I'm sorry you are going through this. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[MewtwoIsAlive]

Can to relate to half of this post, In my experience its better to do this early than late.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Can to relate to half of this post, In my experience its better to do this early than late.

Every single person I've asked on here said they regret not killing themselves earlier when they first started having suicidal urges. I look back and think why did I waste 10 years in agony when all roads eventually lead to ctb.

I just know if I don't do it soon, I will blink and another 10 years would have passed. Once you realize suicide is a real option there is no going back.

 

[whywhywhy]

Every single person I've asked on here said they regret not killing themselves earlier when they first started having suicidal urges. I look back and think why did I waste 10 years in agony when all roads eventually lead to ctb.

I just know if I don't do it soon, I will blink and another 10 years would have passed. Once you realize suicide is a real option there is no going back.

Thats because people that use this forum are mostly suicidal so you dont see here people who had suicidal impulses but refrained and moved on with their lives. I believe you should only suicide when you are 100% sure and its a meditated decision over a decently long enough period of time.

Saying this as someone with suicidal thoughts for a decade but still not regret trying to see how my life went.

 

[Someone123]

supposed to see my bf in 5 days, starved for 8 days because i wanted to look decent, stopped talking to my parents and cut contact with them because theyd been abusing me,now im missing them and i felt so disgusting that i cut all over my face and binged on a shit ton of food, broke out because of keto rash or something, i dont wanna live or do anything or work or move around and i dont have the energy to be around anybody ever again. i dont know if i should check out yet even though nothing interests me and never will

You have a bad set of problems for sure, but if you have doubt it's worth considering that this might not be the best step for you at this time, since you are young and there is some hope on some level that it could get better because you do have doubt- is your boyfriend good to you?

 

[lifeisbutadream]

supposed to see my bf in 5 days, starved for 8 days because i wanted to look decent, stopped talking to my parents and cut contact with them because theyd been abusing me,now im missing them and i felt so disgusting that i cut all over my face and binged on a shit ton of food, broke out because of keto rash or something, i dont wanna live or do anything or work or move around and i dont have the energy to be around anybody ever again. i dont know if i should check out yet even though nothing interests me and never will

No!!!

 

[Apricity]

It's entirely up to you when your journey ends. No one here can, or should, suggest a time.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

But how do you know when it is finally time? I guess no one who can answer that is alive to let us know.

My last attempt I was so sure that it would finally end. What if thinking you can ctb at all is just a coping mechanism? Just a way to escape reality.

 

[Apricity]

But how do you know when it is finally time?

You'll know when.

What if thinking you can ctb at all is just a coping mechanism? Just a way to escape reality.

For some, it is.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

You'll know when.

I already had a few times where I was convinced it was the right time. I guess each failed attempt was the right moment at the time. Maybe there is no magical, elusive right time. Maybe you just have to keep grinding away until you succeed. Some get lucky on their first attempt. Other's just keep failing time after time.