Should I go to a mental hospital?

[Some place nice]

I have a few people who care about me, and I don't completely want to ctb or I'd already done it. Maybe I just need help, idk anymore. I just feel like whatever I do I'll make someone worse; I don't think I've ever made anyone better except my bf. I want to live but I can't get the motivation nor the will to do so. I am going down a dark path and yeah, they helped this time, but it took some time to make me feel better. I hate medication one they make me feel like I'm not me anymore and two I can't afford them. I want to get better for my bf but it's so hard to do so rn, all I can think about is ctb but then I feel bad bc I just left the love of my life, my other half. Should I seek professional help? The places I've been to are good, so I know that I won't get mistreated there.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

I would go if you want to. There are a lot of people here who have had bad experiences with psychiatric wards, but if you demonstrate that you are not an immediate threat to yourself or others and remain calm you can't be held there against your will for longer than 3 days or forced to take medication, and no matter what it wouldn't be longer than a week or two.

 

[Mirrory Me]

So you don't feel safe or good at home? Hospitals are not glamorous places and you have to commit to being there.