Should I get hospitalised

[Ghetto]

Last day I went to the doctor to get my prescription. As we talked about it the time before, he slightly increased the dose of my antidepressants.

He's a good doctor, as treating my kind of troubles isn't his specialty he's getting backed by a psychiatrist, and he praises me every time to see a psy.
As I am getting worse, and having trouble deciding to go again to see a psy, he proposed me to get a short hospitalisation in a specialized establishment.
I talk to a friend about it, and it occurs it is the same establishment his father went after a failed attempt to ctb, and apparently it is a great place.

I know I should go, but I think I don't want it.
Last year I promised myself not to live another year. It has been a few weeks that I finally feel ready to die and kill myself. I have waited so long for that feeling that I think it would be a shame to waste it by getting serious help for my condition.
I am afraid I won't help me be happy, but just throw me back to this state which I have not the bravery to kill myself.

Should I go, or keep digging into my suicide while I am closer to it than ever?
What do you think?

 

[bl33ding_heart]

If you truly want to get better or at least give yourself a chance, and you know that you could be a danger to yourself. Then you should definitely go, it's only temporary. And would most likely be worth it when you come out.

 

[Dot]

I am afraid I won't help me be happy, but just throw me back to this state which I have not the bravery to kill myself.

Snds as tho ur fear of nt gttng bettr = keepng u focusd on ctb fr comfrt

Ctb wll alwys b thre & wll b ur finl decsn wth 0 choics aftrwrds -- mght as wll try all othr optns b4 rsortng t/ ctb bcse smetmes emotns wll cloud jdgemnt & ctb mght nt b wht u wantd

Nothng wrng wth rulng thse possbiltis out 1st

 

[Shadows From Hell]

We can't tell you if you should go or not, that entire decision is your choice to make. Although I'm sure a majority of us(I do) would hope that you go and see how it goes.

Treatment may or may not help you have a different outlook on life. Some people come out much better and have managed to move ahead with a more positive attitude about living. Others, not as successful. It all depends on how much you want to change your life and make it better.

All your thoughts of ctb isn't wasted, consider it as putting it on the back burner for now and see how the treatment goes. You never know how it will play out.

I wish you the best on whichever road you choose.

 

[ilovenewyork]

One of the things I've really struggled with is inconsistency of perception. It seems very odd that one day I might be hopelessly suicidal and a week later grateful for a good day of simple living. You should spend a week in the hospital and see if it doesn't give you some freedom from this thought loop. You can always go back to your plans if it fails. But sometimes a rest can provide a new perspective for yourself and what you value going forward.

 

[knowledgeseeking]

You should go. The fact that you're even asking means you should go. If it doesn't work CBT will still be here when you back.

Give yourself a chance.