should i end my life?

[atlanticus0_0]

ok so basically ive been seeing these hallucinations while awake for like fourteen years. i am 100% certain they r real, they are SOLID GLOWING MOVING images like a wall or a tv in front of my eyes. i always just let it happen until recently when it suddenly disappeared and i started hearing voices. saying that ill suffer eternally unless i kill myself before a certain unknown date or stay up for a night before a certain date. one measure of how much time is left is theres a pain in my chest, or if i still wake up in the middle of the night theres still time left. luckily one of my afterlife torturers is my own mom, so if i stay alive i can try to make her like me enough that she wont torture me. i dont kno what i shud do becuz today i didnt feel any chest pain. ive been putting off staying up for a night becuz a) i dont believe anything will happen deep down and b) i want to do it on my last chance if that makes sense.

ive been trying to tell people theres no scientific explanation for what i saw and no one believes me. i dont kno what i shud do. shud i stay alive or die?

 

[Hollowman]

Nobody's going to tell you what you should do.

 

[TheHolySword]

You cannot ask that. And no one is going to answer that. This your journey, your decision. You have to find your own conclusion.

 

[Abandoned Phantom]

There is only 1 person who can ever answer the question of "should i kill myself?" It's you. You are the only person who can answer that. its up to you and you alone to decide what is right for you.

 

[always_a_crossroads]

I can't decide for you what you should or shouldn't do.
But this sounds like a frightening and isolating experience. Have you ever asked a doctor about this?

At one point I had a somewhat similar experience, I think. I was sure that strange coincidences were happening to me, that the world was sending me signals, that my thoughts were controlling reality, and a lot of other things. It felt absolutely real, there was no question in my mind. Eventually I realized that something was wrong, and I checked myself into a hospital. It turned out I was having a psychotic episode. With time and medication, these thoughts subsided and I could think clearly again.

I wonder if you could be going through something similar?

 

[ScornedStoic]

As everyone else has said, by definition, only you can make this choice. Only you know the parameters of what makes a life worth living or not which is why assisted suicide should be legal.

I'm sorry. Nobody can help you come to whatever conclusion you end up coming to.

 

[kittyangelwings]

ok so basically ive been seeing these hallucinations while awake for like fourteen years. i am 100% certain they r real, they are SOLID GLOWING MOVING images like a wall or a tv in front of my eyes. i always just let it happen until recently when it suddenly disappeared and i started hearing voices. saying that ill suffer eternally unless i kill myself before a certain unknown date or stay up for a night before a certain date. one measure of how much time is left is theres a pain in my chest, or if i still wake up in the middle of the night theres still time left. luckily one of my afterlife torturers is my own mom, so if i stay alive i can try to make her like me enough that she wont torture me. i dont kno what i shud do becuz today i didnt feel any chest pain. ive been putting off staying up for a night becuz a) i dont believe anything will happen deep down and b) i want to do it on my last chance if that makes sense.

ive been trying to tell people theres no scientific explanation for what i saw and no one believes me. i dont kno what i shud do. shud i stay alive or die?

bro, i hear you. when no one believes what you saw something deep, real, maybe even unexplainable it can make the world feel cold and lonely. like you're carrying a truth too heavy to share.

but listen: your life matters. not because of what you saw or didn't see… but because you are here. breathing, feeling, thinking that's rare and sacred all on its own.

maybe science can't explain it yet. maybe people don't get it now. but that doesn't mean it's not real to you and that pain in your chest? i feel it too sometimes.

but don't let disbelief erase your worth.

if shadows talk to you at night… if lights move when no one's there... whatever happened hold on anyway.

there are people who will believe you eventually. until then keep breathing. keep sharing your truth, even if they laugh.

and bro?

stay alive for the ones who haven't met you yet

if u ever need someone 2 talk 2 at 3am… im here.
always will be.
no judgment.
just love

 

[Baisley]

That is a decision that only you can make. I want to ctb but I hate the thought of anyone else doing it. Maybe talk to a doctor and get some help for your hallucinations, that sounds frightening.