Help Should I break up

[Treku]

bit of context to start. I've been with my boyfriend for a year now and a long time ago I was open with my mental health but not now after making him hate himself and giving him multiple types and forms of trauma etc. he doesn't know abt my plan to ctb which is in abt a week and will come as a surprise as it will to everyone else.
my problem that I have been stuck on for so long is if I break up with him before I ctb. I feel that if I do then his able to ig hate me and get over me kinda so that it hurts less. but that also means that he has to deal with a break up and then my ctb so idk what to do.
any advice is open and very much needed.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Ctb is unavoidable pain, breakup isn't. I wouldn't break up with him and then ctb. Only do that if you feel you have to. Probably it's hard to think straight about it. I don't know if I have the answer, but I feel like the types of pain would combine. When you ctb it's already a breakup, because he won't be able to be with you anymore too.

I miss someone who ctb. I think a breakup on top of that would've been even worse. I can't say for sure or how others feel though.

 

[Treku]

Ctb is unavoidable pain, breakup isn't. I wouldn't break up with him and then ctb. Only do that if you feel you have to. Probably it's hard to think straight about it. I don't know if I have the answer, but I feel like the types of pain would combine. When you ctb it's already a breakup, because he won't be able to be with you anymore too.

I miss someone who ctb. I think a breakup on top of that would've been even worse. I can't say for sure or how others feel though.

yeah that makes sense. thanks for the advice :)