I was just listening to asmr (it sometimes helps with my insomnia) and on a whim decided to imagine it was some kind of death clinic instead. My body instantly relaxed and the only other thing I felt was a sense of longing. It's not a big deal or anything, but usually when I envision dying it causes something more than that in the past. Some basic human anxiety or uncertainty or something.
That little jolt felt like a sudden realization that things had been steadily getting worse- something I knew logically, but that I'd stopped being able to feel. The event is so small and unimportant and yet it's so easy to forget that the daily existence of this isn't necessarily everyone's experience. The emotional reminder that it's supposedly a big deal to other people throws me off when directly confronted with it. An "Oh" moment.
What small thing suddenly triggered a jolt out of that normalcy of wanting to die for you? Was it beneficial or did it hurt?
That little jolt felt like a sudden realization that things had been steadily getting worse- something I knew logically, but that I'd stopped being able to feel. The event is so small and unimportant and yet it's so easy to forget that the daily existence of this isn't necessarily everyone's experience. The emotional reminder that it's supposedly a big deal to other people throws me off when directly confronted with it. An "Oh" moment.
What small thing suddenly triggered a jolt out of that normalcy of wanting to die for you? Was it beneficial or did it hurt?
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