Venting sh and lying

[haibaralover]

labeling this as venting because i don't quite know what to call this thread. recently ive been having a lot of urges to self harm, and i've even bought bandages for it and such. ive been struggling with sh for about six years now so this isnt new, it just tends to come in waves. but im struggling between wanting to and having no motivation to even get out of bed. it's like a horrible cycle of having urges, but having no strength, so i sit and just suffer with my mind screaming at my constantly. i also dont know what excuse i would come up with honestly, does anyone else face this issue?? i remember my roommate finding my bandages and asking why i bought them and i kind of froze, im not a bad liar but it's such a hard thing to come up with. i accidentally left them ontop of the fridge (a common problem i have) so she believed me when i said i dont know why and said "who knows how long those have been sitting up there lol" fully unaware i bought them only two days ago. i don't know how to overcome it, because i know i can't overcome my urges so i feel the best option to overcome my low motivation.

 

[PeteTheFrog]

Honestly I feel you, I'd sh way more often if I had the energy to, it feels like I'm on edge the whole time but I can't actually do anything about it. Just the thought of having to clean up and make sure I hide it well is exhausting.

As for the excuse for the bandages, just say that you noticed there weren't any left in the first aid kit/buy or make a first aid kid. I'd recommend just leaving it in ur room, but if you forget to put them away maybe that's an excuse that will work! You could also say they were for an art project or smth similar

 

[Porgierot]

Yes me too, I have these urges pretty much always but obviously sh a lot less than the urges tell me I should as I have responsibilities the sh would interfere with. And a lot of it just has to do with energy, being too tired to deal with the clean up and woundcare, all the inconveniences that come with it.
I guess I try to see it as a good thing.