Yes Iam still
some days it's hard other days easier. What I lost to being a sex worker was being able to marry and have kids. I had become a permanent pump and dump for life. Now I'm too damaged to even conceive of ever trying to be in a normal relationship with a guy. Then on top of it Iam now pregnant and contemplating a 5th abortion because well unwanted pregnancy with a terrible guy who used me as a pump and dump. I figured being 41 I wasn't at high risk of pregnancy. I hadn't been pregnant last since age 29.
I liked it, but I rarely had actual sex and was very protective against pregnancy and disease. Never got preggo or caught vd. Most of the men want to be dominated. I thought it was funny that they were using me as a pump and dump; I was getting paid and that was all they were good for to me anyway.
I didn't get sad because I couldn't have a normal relationship; people in normal relationships are miserable, I don't want that. I thought it was funny that the world looked down on me, I was making money having a great life with no attachments. All the things people pitied me for not having were things I didn't want anyway.
Sometimes the sex was
really bad, but sometimes really good, too.
I couldn't keep it up because I got too old and sick but if I get well enough I will probably still do it once in awhile, if anybody wants an old sad clown like me (unlikely).
Having sex without getting paid feels wrong to me, all I'm thinking is
"I should not be putting up with this bullshit for free, no sir."
Every time I told a man of my past (except one), they ran far far away.
Girl please. They ran, straight to their regular ho. You know it's true.
Men jerk off with one hand and point their finger with the other. It's ok for men to buy, but wrong for women to sell.
My time as a sexworker was just a way to survive in an absurd world at a time when I was too sick to maintain any other job. I don't feel bad about it, if anything, I find it funny that someone as boring and unsexy as me ever got paid for sex at all. If anybody should feel bad about it, it's the guys, not me.
Misandry, yup that's the word I was looking for.
LOL.