For the last two months I'm seeing myself at different points in my life in my dreams, looking entirely different than now as a child with golden locks, in my early teens in middle school weighing a ton, later as an anorexic goth teen, early twenties trying to mask my lesbianism(from myself) all dressed up like a birthday cake, in university asking the French teacher can I have photocopies of all her teaching material for the year to study at home myself as I can't stand to be in a crowd due to social anxiety, in the future in European countries where I don't have to hide my tiny braided goatee with wound patches or neck scarves(yes I do this in the middle of summer too, and last summer we got stopped in traffic because the thermometer showed I had a fever-it was from overheating). I see all my failures and triumphs and joys and insecurities. Kinda like what dying people say happen in fast forward but not in true sequence and in parts. Like my brain knows I'm going to die. Or it's trying to figure out where it went wrong. Oh and lots of flying dreams too.
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Alwaysbadtime
Enlightened
- Jun 28, 2021
- 1,158
All nightmares...always suicidal...lots of sweating. I take Seroquel too. Do you think the Seroquel changes your dreams? Initially I thought it helped, but as the days pass I think it's just stress I can't escape from. I requested a higher dosage than 50 mg...it went up to 200 without any instructions for gradual increasing. I'm waiting for the 50 mg Rx to be refillable. I would really like regular Rx sleeping pills but am finding it's impossible for the Drs I see to do fucking anything.
At first it was giving me vivid but mostly peaceful or exciting dreams, not anymore though. Heard lots of other people saying Seroquel changes dreams. Maybe try getting prescribed Ativan instead of Xanax as psychiatrists seems to see it as the safer benzo. It is also helping me sleep.
Alwaysbadtime
Enlightened
- Jun 28, 2021
- 1,158
In the state I am in I can't find a useless dr. to Rx shit. They don't give a fuck about anything. Only willing to Rx Seroquel. I used to take Ativan. It helped.
Flippy
Felis Sapien
- Jan 5, 2020
- 931
I've been on seroquel/quetiapine for over a decade. I'm not having such a great time on it anymore, I get a lot of side effects or weird reactions to it now. I am very reluctant to go on something else as they generally have the same side effects but more of a sure thing, plus a few more that I would prefer not to have too.
I've been having some weird dreams recently, well off and on for a year at least and they aren't disismilar to what you describe. I don't know if subconsciously I'm processing some things that have been locked away and maybe my subconscious felt that I had (previously) been doing so much better it started to let these things come to my awareness. To be honest it's not been pleasant and has made me feel worse.
My dreams seem to be a strange pastiche of contemporary and historic, but all occuring at the same time. Sometimes I'm a kid but its current day, sometimes a person who tormented me as a kid is back in the dreams like they never left my life and they have some strong ideas about how I should be banished from being able to do the things they would have denied me when they were in my life (have friends, my own money, my own agency and autonomy). Usually something along the lines of me driving them somewhere in my car and them making their usual apparently positive comments about "how pleased [they are]" that I have my own car but ultimately this is something "we will have to decide if you will be allowed to do". In the dream I know what that means, I'm about to be prevented from doing anything that really I have every right to do and I have earned without their involvement. Something they can't stand to see I have achieved in spite of them.
I'm not sure why I have these dreams and they make me feel a little shell shocked when I wake up. A bit like I'm relieved it was a dream and that fortunately it was a dream about their less abusive behaviours at least. But I still feel quite troubled by them :-/
I'm of a mind that this is the quetiapine having a weird effect on me but I could be wrong. I'm not sure what to do. I hope that your dreams will return to something a little more enjoyable! :-)
I've been having some weird dreams recently, well off and on for a year at least and they aren't disismilar to what you describe. I don't know if subconsciously I'm processing some things that have been locked away and maybe my subconscious felt that I had (previously) been doing so much better it started to let these things come to my awareness. To be honest it's not been pleasant and has made me feel worse.
My dreams seem to be a strange pastiche of contemporary and historic, but all occuring at the same time. Sometimes I'm a kid but its current day, sometimes a person who tormented me as a kid is back in the dreams like they never left my life and they have some strong ideas about how I should be banished from being able to do the things they would have denied me when they were in my life (have friends, my own money, my own agency and autonomy). Usually something along the lines of me driving them somewhere in my car and them making their usual apparently positive comments about "how pleased [they are]" that I have my own car but ultimately this is something "we will have to decide if you will be allowed to do". In the dream I know what that means, I'm about to be prevented from doing anything that really I have every right to do and I have earned without their involvement. Something they can't stand to see I have achieved in spite of them.
I'm not sure why I have these dreams and they make me feel a little shell shocked when I wake up. A bit like I'm relieved it was a dream and that fortunately it was a dream about their less abusive behaviours at least. But I still feel quite troubled by them :-/
I'm of a mind that this is the quetiapine having a weird effect on me but I could be wrong. I'm not sure what to do. I hope that your dreams will return to something a little more enjoyable! :-)
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I'm so sorry for your experience in school. I've been bullied too, both physically and psychologically. It can be that you're right, our brains reminding us even when we felt like we're not prospering it was still better than now.
Nevertheless I prefer being asleep to reality still. I don't think seroquel is helping anymore but I've been on worse drugs and I don't want to end up in an even more catastrophic place so dare not try anything else.
Flippy
Felis Sapien
- Jan 5, 2020
- 931
I'm sorry you are haunted by these things too :-( I'm in the same boat, I just don't want to take any risks with medication. Particularly what I think about how just about ever other medication has made me so much worse.
I hope your dreams will be wonderful in the future and the Seroquel will start working again soon! :-)
Thank you <3 I hope things start looking up for you too and you'll stop seeing those tormented dreams. <3
