Venting Self sabotage

[ThatStateOfMind]

I just need to vent about one of my bigger issues at the moment: My self sabotaging.

Every time I seem to have something decent going, I tend to sabotage it. I've done it with friendships, ESPECIALLY with previous jobs (I've always impulsively quit when it felt too difficult) and I'm hoping to break this cycle if I'm offered a job tomorrow and I get through the interview I have. I'm not super worried, it's a part time fast food job at a place known for sandwiches and a pedophile who lost a lot of weight eating their sandwiches.

Ultimately, I just hope I can stop self-sabotaging everything. Hell, I'm afraid if I get in a new relationship, I'll sabotage it because I have trust issues due to being cheated on.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Well you have identified that pattern at least. Some people engage in that behavior without ever really being able to identify it as what it is.

If you get hired what can you tell yourself if you feel the urge to quit? A suggestion could be to remind yourself how much of a pain it was to find this job.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Well you have identified that pattern at least. Some people engage in that behavior without ever really being able to identify it as what it is.

If you ger hired what can you tell yourself if you feel the urge to quit? A suggestion could be to remind yourself how much of a pain it was to find this job.

Yeah that's what I was thinking, I don't usually think clearly when I'm overwhelmed/anxious. Hopefully I can remind myself well enough and try to keep the job for at least a month. I feel like a month minimum is how long it'll take for me to acclimate and know if it's right for me or not.

No clue why this pattern occurs, I am assuming it's due to my ADHD but not 100% sure.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yeah that's what I was thinking, I don't usually think clearly when I'm overwhelmed/anxious. Hopefully I can remind myself well enough and try to keep the job for at least a month. I feel like a month minimum is how long it'll take for me to acclimate and know if it's right for me or not.

No clue why this pattern occurs, I am assuming it's due to my ADHD but not 100% sure.

It could be a contributing factor, making it hard to persist at something And if you're an anxious person then it is always easy to just quit when the going gets tough. I think you'll be able to exercise better self-control this time.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Soooo, did the interview today. I think it went well? My anxiety has been bad all day to the point I didn't eat or drink all day until after the interview, as I felt nauseous all day. Then I got to the interview and calmed down. It started when they gave me a sheet to fill out, was kinda confused because it was all stuff I filled out online. Probably some corporate stuff that they must have it in paper form or something.

Anyways, i filled out the paper and then the manager came and sat with me, talked about the pay, and what I would do day-to-day. The pay is $9 an hour starting + any tips. Not the best but it's not like I really need the money as much as I do work experience. It seems like they're understaffed which is a bit of a red flag to me, as they said everyone does a little bit of everything rather than a designated task.

I should get a call back next week if I'm accepted and still interested. It's not the best but it's a job and so long as they respect my desired hours and max hours per week, I think I can make it work.

Not sure exactly what I want yet though so I guess I'll think about it over the next week.

 

[thx1138]

Good job for doing well on the interview! At least you have that behind you. I hope get the job and they treat you well. You never know, it might lead to better opportunities. There's no shame in working at a fast food place. If nothing else, you can challenge yourself to be less impulsive this time and think of it as a chance for self-improvement. You got this! Don't be hard on yourself in any case.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Soooo, did the interview today. I think it went well? My anxiety has been bad all day to the point I didn't eat or drink all day until after the interview, as I felt nauseous all day. Then I got to the interview and calmed down. It started when they gave me a sheet to fill out, was kinda confused because it was all stuff I filled out online. Probably some corporate stuff that they must have it in paper form or something.

Anyways, i filled out the paper and then the manager came and sat with me, talked about the pay, and what I would do day-to-day. The pay is $9 an hour starting + any tips. Not the best but it's not like I really need the money as much as I do work experience. It seems like they're understaffed which is a bit of a red flag to me, as they said everyone does a little bit of everything rather than a designated task.

I should get a call back next week if I'm accepted and still interested. It's not the best but it's a job and so long as they respect my desired hours and max hours per week, I think I can make it work.

Not sure exactly what I want yet though so I guess I'll think about it over the next week.

$9? Your state/county needs to catch the fuck up on minimum wage.

I am glad it went well and seems like you got it.

Nah man, you're going to take that job and just make some sandwiches!

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Good job for doing well on the interview! At least you have that behind you. I hope get the job and they treat you well. You never know, it might lead to better opportunities. There's no shame in working at a fast food place. If nothing else, you can challenge yourself to be less impulsive this time and think of it as a chance for self-improvement. You got this! Don't be hard on yourself in any case.

Yeah true, if I can stick with it, I think it could be an opportunity to improve. My main concern in I've also signed up for a fellowship that's pretty demanding starting pretty soon so I'm concerned that, school, and a job all together might be overwhelming.

$9? Your state/county needs to catch the fuck up on minimum wage.

I am glad it went well and seems like you got it.

Nah man, you're going to take that job and just make some sandwiches!

Yeah lmao, the wage everywhere near me is pretty low. But yeah I'm glad it went well.

As I mentioned before, the main worry for me is a fellowship (I think that's what it's called). Either way, it's a fairly lengthy online course provided by NASA that I believe is pretty intensive. It's called NCAS and I don't really know how to describe it lol. Either way, I'm outta school for a month and a half so at the very least, I should be able to keep this for a month and a half if I'm accepted lol

I think the main reason I even got this job is pressure from my family, not immediate. Distant like especially my aunt. She always compares me to her daughter who's a year younger and has a full time job, but doesn't go to college. She believes I should get a job, particularly a full time job and believes my mom should make me do that and pay bills. I hate being compared to my cousin, my cousin hates me being compared to her (my cousin and mom aren't delusional) and I don't know what to do. I feel like I always wanna crack under the pressure to conform to what they want me to be

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yeah true, if I can stick with it, I think it could be an opportunity to improve. My main concern in I've also signed up for a fellowship that's pretty demanding starting pretty soon so I'm concerned that, school, and a job all together might be overwhelming.

Yeah lmao, the wage everywhere near me is pretty low. But yeah I'm glad it went well.

As I mentioned before, the main worry for me is a fellowship (I think that's what it's called). Either way, it's a fairly lengthy online course provided by NASA that I believe is pretty intensive. It's called NCAS and I don't really know how to describe it lol. Either way, I'm outta school for a month and a half so at the very least, I should be able to keep this for a month and a half if I'm accepted lol

I think the main reason I even got this job is pressure from my family, not immediate. Distant like especially my aunt. She always compares me to her daughter who's a year younger and has a full time job, but doesn't go to college. She believes I should get a job, particularly a full time job and believes my mom should make me do that and pay bills. I hate being compared to my cousin, my cousin hates me being compared to her (my cousin and mom aren't delusional) and I don't know what to do. I feel like I always wanna crack under the pressure to conform to what they want me to be

Your aunt sounds.....[redacted]. You're a fucking college student. She isn't worth taking seriously.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Your aunt sounds.....[redacted]. You're a fucking college student. She isn't worth taking seriously.

thank you, it seriously helps to hear that