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phoenixx

phoenixx

Experienced
Apr 8, 2019
258
Shallo
Nothing is real. How could I be so stupid to think anyone could ever care about me? Stinging, shallow cuts everywhere. Not enough. Never enough. All I smell is blood.
View attachment 74369sorry for my fat legs I'm disgusting
Shallow cuts or not, self harm is self harm. I know I'm just a stranger but I care about you. I'm so sorry you're going through so much pain and you're hurting yourself. Feel free to reach out to me if you want to talk, I'll be here and illl listen to you
 
I

irememberinnocence

Student
Jun 10, 2020
128
I've self harmed recently but overall it doesn't bring me much relief. After all, I'm not wanting to hurt myself. I'm wanting to end my existence so I don't have to suffer anymore. In the context of my own personal circumstances (failing health and other stuff) I find ending my life to be self compassion, not self harm. So self harm seems paradoxical in my situation. But I guess I resort to it out of frustration that I haven't managed to end my life yet. Feels strange to admit these thoughts so boldly.
 
O

OhSoTired

Member
Sep 11, 2021
10
Hi, I began doing cutting recently, it feels funny.
I'm sorry to hear that you're having feelings that have led to self harm. I have struggled with self harm for about 30 years. While I can't know what you're feeling I know that you are not alone in your pain.
 
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Pisceslilith

Pisceslilith

Student
Aug 19, 2019
154
Been cutting since I was 16 or 17, sh in general since I was in elementary but I didn't realize because the media made it seem like cutting was the only type of sh. I would pull my hair out, I would punch myself, and scratch myself as a kid to let out anger/frustration. I stoped cutting for a while but I had a sudden urge recently because of triggers and the constant reminders of my childhood. The memories just never stop from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. It doesn't help that that one specific trigger is still around me. I can't wait to die so I no longer feel anything anymore.
 
oliviahurts

oliviahurts

guess I'm paralyzed now
Sep 13, 2021
67
Been cutting since I was 16 or 17, sh in general since I was in elementary but I didn't realize because the media made it seem like cutting was the only type of sh. I would pull my hair out, I would punch myself, and scratch myself as a kid to let out anger/frustration. I stoped cutting for a while but I had a sudden urge recently because of triggers and the constant reminders of my childhood. The memories just never stop from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. It doesn't help that that one specific trigger is still around me. I can't wait to die so I no longer feel anything anymore.
I used to cut but it never did much for me. In the past couple of years, I've taken to drilling holes in my body for many reasons. But the pain when drilling a hole stays for a lot longer than other kinds of self-harm I've tried.

I used to have constant flashbacks, being away from the situation they happened did help a lot and the rest was time.
 
M.M

M.M

Member
Apr 10, 2021
46
Do u who cut do wound treatment or just leave the cuts alone?
 
Soulless Angel

Soulless Angel

Did someone say Rum?
Jul 6, 2020
1,272
I used to cut but it never did much for me. In the past couple of years, I've taken to drilling holes in my body for many reasons. But the pain when drilling a hole stays for a lot longer than other kinds of self-harm I've tried.

I used to have constant flashbacks, being away from the situation they happened did help a lot and the rest was time.

see self harm I am wanting that pain, but drilling into my own body, fuck that's next level shit!! is the damage more controlled though, know that's an odd question
 
hyacinths

hyacinths

Member
Sep 25, 2021
64
i started sh when i was like twelve. i got caught pretty fast about it so i could never use my wrists or anywhere noticeable- my thighs became my biggest area for sh. especially my right one. i often self harm, let it heal, and then start cutting right over the scarred over area. there's layers of scar tissue over scar tissue. ive been pretty sporadic with it, going for a year a times without cutting, but i always find my way back and each relapse is much bigger than the last one.
 
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phoenixx

phoenixx

Experienced
Apr 8, 2019
258
Do u who cut do wound treatment or just leave the cuts alone?
I usually just keep the fresh wounds covered. If I go too deep and it needs hospital treatment (like stitches) then I just try to close the wounds myself with tape or butterfly stitches. It works most of the time. I've had a couple of small infections, (mainly with burns) but they don't get that bad and heal eventually. All I can suggest is to keep cuts clean and covered to lower the risk of infection. Here's some more helpful advice if you need it:
 
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oliviahurts

oliviahurts

guess I'm paralyzed now
Sep 13, 2021
67
see self harm I am wanting that pain, but drilling into my own body, fuck that's next level shit!! is the damage more controlled though, know that's an odd question
My aim is for long term damage and continuing pain.. I would do it all at once ideally but if the effect is large, it'd cause my mum to take me to a&e which would be bad. Also I only have the will-power to go so far in a night. There's a thread somewhere where I explained it.
 
Soulless Angel

Soulless Angel

Did someone say Rum?
Jul 6, 2020
1,272
Currently trying to distract myself away from cutting though the urge is starting to burn. Yourself?


be strong!! Easier said then done and all that bollocks, but do anything you canso you don't, Its so damned hard though!

I distract myself with rum, though I think in some ways thats a form of self harm too :/ I can take it or leave it, but its nearly 3pm and I am so done wiht shit I just want to sink in the bottle till the day is over!
 
Ash

Ash

Mage
Oct 4, 2021
584
be strong!! Easier said then done and all that bollocks, but do anything you canso you don't, Its so damned hard though!

I distract myself with rum, though I think in some ways thats a form of self harm too :/ I can take it or leave it, but its nearly 3pm and I am so done wiht shit I just want to sink in the bottle till the day is over!
Lasted until after the crisis team home visit. They were lovely people but didn't know several key facts so I got really grumpy and then felt angry and guilty after they'd gone. #facepalm

I used to drink way too much and it was definitely a form of self harm for me. Now I just eat chocolate by the sackload!
 
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,382
I have never cut myself. Instead I bite myself till my arms bleed. I also punch my legs. And slap my head. I also punch things and get my hand in pain.

I haven't self harmed in maybe two week maybe more, unless you count getting angry and punching the table today.
 
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Soulless Angel

Soulless Angel

Did someone say Rum?
Jul 6, 2020
1,272
I haven't self harmed in maybe two week maybe more, unless you count getting angry and punching the table today.


yep that counts :( SOrry to read you got driven to that point
Lasted until after the crisis team home visit. They were lovely people but didn't know several key facts so I got really grumpy and then felt angry and guilty after they'd gone. #facepalm

I used to drink way too much and it was definitely a form of self harm for me. Now I just eat chocolate by the sackload!

eurgh you mean you are UK too and suffer the crap that is disguised as mental health care
 
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Ash

Ash

Mage
Oct 4, 2021
584
I haven't self harmed in maybe two week maybe more, unless you count getting angry and punching the table today.
Hope it helped x
eurgh you mean you are UK too and suffer the crap that is disguised as mental health care
*fist bump*

Individuals want to help but the system is broken and tattered and ... My dog just fell off my lap and is sulking because I laughed. Gotta hold onto the small things, right?!
 
Soulless Angel

Soulless Angel

Did someone say Rum?
Jul 6, 2020
1,272
Hope it helped x

*fist bump*

Individuals want to help but the system is broken and tattered and ... My dog just fell off my lap and is sulking because I laughed. Gotta hold onto the small things, right?!
careful people will be more concerned for the dogs mental health after that tumble then they will be you..... Dogs lives matter and all that jazz!!
 
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Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,382
Hope it helped x

*fist bump*

Individuals want to help but the system is broken and tattered and ... My dog just fell off my lap and is sulking because I laughed. Gotta hold onto the small things, right?!
It did help. Though it wasn't only one punch. Maybe like five. I was reading something annoying plus thinking about my narcissist mom's bullshit when I became so angry. The side of hand near the smallest finger is violet but it doesn't hurt.

But never do the same mistake I did in my previous apartment. I thought I'd punch a mattress because they are soft. The mattress was against a chair because the apartment was so noisy and I used it to block 0,1% of the sounds. I punched the mattress and under it on the chair was a mug. I hurt my hand really badly and I thought it would never heal. Got a giant bruise on it. I thought whether I should call an ambulance, it was so bad. It's completely healed now, but it took months.

I just recalled for the first time in five years that I have a literal punching bag that I could use, but my brother never installed it even though he promised.

Please give an ear scratch to your dog! My dog died a few days ago, because my stupid narcissistic mom canceled the surgery and took my dog euthanized without my permission. It was legally mine so she literally committed a crime. She was a healthy dog, full of energy and happiness, just needed her leg operated. Take lots of photos and videos of your dog. And cherish every moment with your dog.
 
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Ash

Ash

Mage
Oct 4, 2021
584
Please give an ear scratch to your dog! My dog died a few days ago, because my stupid narcissistic mom canceled the surgery and took my dog euthanized without my permission. It was legally mine so she literally committed a crime. She was a healthy dog, full of energy and happiness, just needed her leg operated. Take lots of photos and videos of your dog. And cherish every moment with your dog.
Ear scratch delivered. She's very pleased with herself.
 
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Midgardsorm

Midgardsorm

Paragon
Apr 28, 2020
922
I like you already! Our is a giant lop, he's only a baby but still huge, getting him a friend next week!

Wow, never saw a giant baby lop. I sub to a channel on YouTube that shows video of a dutch rabbit.
Cutest little being I ever seen.
 
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oliviahurts

oliviahurts

guess I'm paralyzed now
Sep 13, 2021
67
My mum found the blood stains at the same time as fucking amazon was like 'do you want another drill?' which she saw on the screen. im really fucking upset and pissed off mostly at myself for being careless. Just went up from defcon 4 to defcon 2. I want all noise to go away fuuuuuuuuckinf fucking fuuuuuck.
 

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