jerkbybile
SPIRAL OUT
- Jan 21, 2026
- 23
something simple. i am looking for a bit of advice, i suppose. forgive me if this is a bit nonsensical, i am somewhat exhausted.
my boyfriend is, reasonably, very against my self-harm habits. he wants to support me into completely recovering, and even if i know that is impossible for me, i cannot look at his face and tell him something like that. i threw away my blades for him. though this did prevent me from hurting myself, it has done nothing for the urges. the desire is just as large as before, no matter how long i am without.
so when i stayed over at his place, i stole his extra razors and took them apart. the guilt settled in after i could quietly slip them back into his drawer. i have no idea what to do now. do i tell him, maybe wait for him to confront me first? i should be honest with my lover, i know, but to be honest here brings me shame. my desperation has made me turn to blatant thievery. i feel like an addict.
my boyfriend is, reasonably, very against my self-harm habits. he wants to support me into completely recovering, and even if i know that is impossible for me, i cannot look at his face and tell him something like that. i threw away my blades for him. though this did prevent me from hurting myself, it has done nothing for the urges. the desire is just as large as before, no matter how long i am without.
so when i stayed over at his place, i stole his extra razors and took them apart. the guilt settled in after i could quietly slip them back into his drawer. i have no idea what to do now. do i tell him, maybe wait for him to confront me first? i should be honest with my lover, i know, but to be honest here brings me shame. my desperation has made me turn to blatant thievery. i feel like an addict.
