Self esteem is cultivated through life experience

[death137]

 

[Barracuda91]

True words been spoken by the legendary Oreoman.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

hm no wonder I have no self esteem

 

[signifying nothing]

Its not so simple as this, but if it gives you comfort to think this way then so be it.

 

[death137]

True words been spoken by the legendary Oreoman.

I've been watching many of his videos lately and I largely agree with him. Looks greatly determine your fate in life.

 

[WornOutLife]

I wonder where my self-esteem is. I used to have it but now is nowhere to be seen.

Nice video!

 

[DivineMedicus]

I've been watching many of his videos lately and I largely agree with him. Looks greatly determine your fate in life.

Human beings are animals after all, so why shouldn't we behave like them too?

 

[death137]

Human beings are animals after all, so why shouldn't we behave like them too?

Yeah but most ppl don't want to admit it and that's the problem. Their talk and action contradict each other.

 

[262653]

Its not so simple as this, but if it gives you comfort to think this way then so be it.

It sounds to me like your view on the topic of discussion differs from what was said in the video above. (We are talking about the video presented in OP, right?) So how it actually is, in your opinion?

 

[signifying nothing]

It sounds to me like your view on the topic of discussion differs from what was said in the video above. (We are talking about the video presented in OP, right?) So how it actually is, in your opinion?

I think, for example, that different people can be affected in different ways by the same event.

And I know from personal experiences that your interpretation of an experience can also change, so that something you felt was an awful thing to have happened can be reinterpreted and in time can take on different meanings and lead to different feelings about what happened.

But unless you've experienced that for yourself its probably difficult to fathom, hence my initial comment.

 

[death137]

I think, for example, that different people can be affected in different ways by the same event..

Yes but still whatever their personal experience will decided their self esteem.

And I know from personal experiences that your interpretation of an experience can also change, so that something you felt was an awful thing to have happened can be reinterpreted and in time can take on different meanings and lead to different feelings about what happened.

But unless you've experienced that for yourself its probably difficult to fathom, hence my initial comment.

It can happen but in some things the probability of your opinion changing is very little at least for some/most ppl.

 

[makingsure4]

I don't want to watch the video. Does that mean I'm choosing to not cultivate life experience and it will disturb my self esteem?

 

[Nodscene]

I didn't watch the video to be honest. My self esteem hasn't change and I'm pushing 50 so what does that say.

 

[ToughTimes]

It is honestly so refreshing to hear someone just say something so blatantly obvious and which that makes sense. I get so tired when psychologist and the general zeitgeist always talks about our relation to our experience and that it is all in our head.

Sure given random permutations some would be more or less inclined to neuroticism however is would seem naive to presume it is primary a product of the mind given at birth(why evolutionary would a functioning person on average have neurotic thought patterns about themselves for no reason?)

 

[death137]

I don't want to watch the video. Does that mean I'm choosing to not cultivate life experience and it will disturb my self esteem?

Edit: I don't understand why you ask this but anyway if you really care about videos then yeah watching it or not will have effect on your self esteem.

I didn't watch the video to be honest. My self esteem hasn't change and I'm pushing 50 so what does that say.

Well it means your overall experience or things you consider to be very important haven't been good so far.

 

[signifying nothing]

Yes but still whatever their personal experience will decided their self esteem.

But the guy in the vid just said bad things happening leads to bad self esteem, good things happening to good self esteem.

What about the people who go through a bad event, but it bolsters their self esteem and will to live and thrive? Or the person who works hard to get a great job, a house and family, but continues to feel low self esteem and ultimately unfulfilled?

He basically ignores the fact that bad leading to bad and good leading to good are learnt relationships, not givens of life.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Thank you for sharing this video. I also get tired of hearing about how it's an attitude problem, and some subjective emotional state determines our self-image.

Most, but not all, people's self esteem will be molded and shaped by their experiences with their parents and their formative years in school. Its a no brainer that someone who receives consistent validation in childhood by their parental figures and peers will have greater self esteem in comparison to a child from a broken home, who is frequently bullied at school.

Another thing I get tired of hearing is, "You must love yourself before you have the capability to love others." Sorry, but that's trite nonsense and not at all reflective of reality. Some of the most selfless and altruistic people have little regard for themselves. You don't have to conjure up a positive self image to be able to recognise how others deserve to be treated.

It's always those with pristine life circumstances telling those without privledges that their misery is of their own creation. No matter how much effort you invest in self confidence, one cannot maintain a facade forever if they are consistently kicked down by others and the world around them. Everyone deserves some sort of validation and respect from others, but I imagine the status quo is upheld much easier by the existence of the blame game.

 

[death137]

But the guy in the vid just said bad things happening leads to bad self esteem, good things happening to good self esteem.

What about the people who go through a bad event, but it bolsters their self esteem and will to live and thrive? Or the person who works hard to get a great job, a house and family, but continues to feel low self esteem and ultimately unfulfilled?

He basically ignores the fact that bad leading to bad and good leading to good are learnt relationships, not givens of life.

There is no way someone can go through only bad events and their self esteem is boosted and vice versa. When the guy in the video said "bad life experience" it doesn't mean all things were bad but things we greatly care were.

 

[signifying nothing]

There is no way someone can go through only bad events and their self esteem is boosted and vice versa. When the guy in the video said "bad life experience" it doesn't mean all things were bad but things we greatly care were.

As I said before, if it gives you comfort to think this way then so be it.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I have to agree
Positive events = self esteem boosted
Negative events = decline in self esteem

 

[yive]

at the same time, self esteem means nothing in finding relationships if people don't like your appearance. who cares about your self esteem, if you are ugly? if you are ugly, you won't be loved. that's the truth

 

[Journeytoletgo]

at the same time, self esteem means nothing in finding relationships if people don't like your appearance. who cares about your self esteem, if you are ugly? if you are ugly, you won't be loved. that's the truth

Nothing but the truth. If you're ugly or have some kind of physical deformities it's over dating wise

 

[Seraphim]

at the same time, self esteem means nothing in finding relationships if people don't like your appearance. who cares about your self esteem, if you are ugly? if you are ugly, you won't be loved. that's the truth

truer words have never been spoken.

 

[Life_isover128]

Life is pointless if you're ugly and unwanted

 

[Journeytoletgo]

There are ways to improve self esteem through hobbies however if you didn't have these tools before age 25 it's pretty much over :( self esteem wise

 

[Superdeterminist]

Life of hell incorporated...

Love this guy, he speaks mad truth

 

[VoidDesirer22]

There are ways to improve self esteem through hobbies however if you didn't have these tools before age 25 it's pretty much over :( self esteem wise

Hobbies can definitely also lower your self-esteem by ranking you against others. Anything can be a harsh mirror if you have no self esteem lol. Obstacles everywhere.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Hobbies can definitely also lower your self-esteem by ranking you against others. Anything can be a harsh mirror if you have no self esteem lol. Obstacles everywhere.

That's true lol. So in your opinion where does self esteem come from? No self esteem comes from where?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Self esteem is wired in during infancy. The connection between mother and child is all important. As you grow up and venture out into the world… no amount of outside approval will help if at your core you feel nothing but self loathing. If parental approval was conditional.