Self destructing before ctb

[SpaceCadet]

Is self destruction the way we should go before giving up? If in the madness of it all we can find a way, an anwser maybe

 

[lostmylove]

I've kinda thought about this recently. Could get messed up on drugs, maybe do unprotected sex till I get hiv, do some more risky stuff I can't return from. But I'm also thinking I'm too tired. I look a mess I'm too drained to get out of bed, think I'm going to go out with a whimper

 

[houseofleaves]

I've kinda thought about this recently. Could get messed up on drugs, maybe do unprotected sex till I get hiv, do some more risky stuff I can't return from

super sorry to ask, but why would you do that? (not condemning you! i just don't understand)

 

[lostmylove]

super sorry to ask, but why would you do that? (not condemning you! i just don't understand)

I am dead. I just lost the love of my life last week. My soulmate my other half. I'm trying to wait till his birthday to drink Nembutal but I have nearly 2 months. I don't have any affairs needing to be sorted out really my decision rn is either a) move it forward
B) try holdout to his birthday
C) accelerate it all and leave me no choice but to ctb

Option b is the best so it's tactically planned out and calm

 

[Pw81]

That's what I've been doing for year

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not believe that this is a good idea, I think it would only make people suffer more and it would just cause more harm. I do not understand why anyone would do this.

 

[Crazy4u]

I have been doing that lately. Reckless behavior makes me happier!

 

[its-about-time]

I'm a pro at self destruction. If I get in that mindset I just run with it. It's really fun and euphoric in its own shitty way. I don't think planned self destruction would be as fun though. The impulsive recklessness is what makes it exciting to me.

 

[lostmylove]

I have been doing that lately. Reckless behavior makes me happier!

Can I ask what reckless behavior you been doing? I'm not sure if I want to do this but I'm open minded to ideas.

 

[BigGimpin]

I am down to my final days (maybe a week) I have been drinking every day, not a lot though. On top of not worrying about running out of pain pills. Ever since making the decision I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

 

[Crazy4u]

Can I ask what reckless behavior you been doing? I'm not sure if I want to do this but I'm open minded to ideas.

Bad nutrition: avoid healthy food and eat junk food. Drink anything other than water

Money: put purchases on credit cards, apply to new ones,....etc i have been buying clothes, shoes, and furniture. I can't afford all of this

Careless about people, work, and studies. If any big problem happens, I can ctb and it will be over

 

[lostmylove]

Bad nutrition: avoid healthy food and eat junk food. Drink anything other than water

Money: put purchases on credit cards, apply to new ones,....etc i have been buying clothes, shoes, and furniture. I can't afford all of this

Careless about people, work, and studies. If any big problem happens, I can ctb and it will be over

I completely forgot about credit cards, I have a good job with good income, I can probably have lot of fun with some credit cards actually before I go. Can't believe I never thought about this.

 

[SpaceCadet]

I do not believe that this is a good idea, I think it would only make people suffer more and it would just cause more harm. I do not understand why anyone would do this.

I don't mean hurting others in any form, just in the sense that if i'm going to end it all i might self destruct. Btw i'm not promoting, it's not exactly wise, i've been doing it for some time and i take responsability for my actions.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I'm currently doing this. I had been saving money to buy a house, but then things turned to shit, so I'm currently blowing it all on Xanax, Oxycodone and Cocaine. I go out in the day and hang around places, graveyards, shopping centres, in hotels, anywhere fun, high on Oxy, and I snort Cocaine in toilet cubicles and just mooch about high as a kite, then use the Xanax to sleep at night. It's good fun! I wouldn't be able to do it without the drugs because I'm in too much physical pain.

 

[watchingthewheels]

Bad nutrition: avoid healthy food and eat junk food. Drink anything other than water

Money: put purchases on credit cards, apply to new ones,....etc i have been buying clothes, shoes, and furniture. I can't afford all of this

Careless about people, work, and studies. If any big problem happens, I can ctb and it will be over

Self-destruction is one thing; it's your life. But doing things that will leave a mess for others is another.

 

[BigGimpin]

so I'm currently blowing it all on Xanax, Oxycodone and Cocaine

I have a few grand I would like to blow in the next week or so, but dont have access to street drugs or zannies dammit! Sure wish I did. Where are you getting them from?