seems so strange

[needingpeace24]

Sitting here staring at the rope that's going to end my life this weekend. Brain is running through memories, good and bad. Some I had completely forgotten about. It's crazy how even a seemingly innocuous random night years ago can be remembered in vivid detail in this mental state. It's almost like my subconscious is trying to retrieve images and old self-shot home movies, trying to convince me that I'm making a mistake. It's so fucking hard to believe this is where I'm at. By far the strangest mental state and range of emotions I've ever experienced. I can only imagine what the next few days will feel like.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I go through similar things when I start contemplating taking an action. I start remembering the most significant moments
i been through in my life that i thought i completely forgot about. The only difference in my case is that i am not sure my unconscious is doing it to try and stop me from taking action, or maybe it does. I dont know at this point

 

[meetapple]

I hope you will achieve peace regardless of your final decision.

 

[FuneralCry]

When I was close to ctb last year, I was thinking about the past and reflecting on events. I do not like memories, they can be painful. I hate how we can never forget. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[needingpeace24]

Thanks guys. All I want is peace at this point.

 

[needingpeace24]

Tomorrow was the plan but I see no point in waiting. Finishing this bottle and I'm out. Thsnks for letting me vent for a few days and I'm not going to lie I hope those of you who can will find peace in life instead of resorting to death. Might be selfish but it's a thought I'm going to carry with me. Best of luck to each of you..