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needingpeace24

needingpeace24

Member
Oct 19, 2021
52
Sitting here staring at the rope that's going to end my life this weekend. Brain is running through memories, good and bad. Some I had completely forgotten about. It's crazy how even a seemingly innocuous random night years ago can be remembered in vivid detail in this mental state. It's almost like my subconscious is trying to retrieve images and old self-shot home movies, trying to convince me that I'm making a mistake. It's so fucking hard to believe this is where I'm at. By far the strangest mental state and range of emotions I've ever experienced. I can only imagine what the next few days will feel like.
 
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Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
I go through similar things when I start contemplating taking an action. I start remembering the most significant moments
i been through in my life that i thought i completely forgot about. The only difference in my case is that i am not sure my unconscious is doing it to try and stop me from taking action, or maybe it does. I dont know at this point
 
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meetapple

meetapple

Mage
Jun 3, 2021
585
I hope you will achieve peace regardless of your final decision.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,394
When I was close to ctb last year, I was thinking about the past and reflecting on events. I do not like memories, they can be painful. I hate how we can never forget. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
 
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needingpeace24

needingpeace24

Member
Oct 19, 2021
52
Thanks guys. All I want is peace at this point.
 
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needingpeace24

needingpeace24

Member
Oct 19, 2021
52
Tomorrow was the plan but I see no point in waiting. Finishing this bottle and I'm out. Thsnks for letting me vent for a few days and I'm not going to lie I hope those of you who can will find peace in life instead of resorting to death. Might be selfish but it's a thought I'm going to carry with me. Best of luck to each of you..
 
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