Secret

[bonnieps>]

I have been thinking should I just plan out a date and do it or should I try to get help again. I kind of regret trying to get better. I was almost there. I even had a plan and was starting to get ready to collect all the supplies I needed to hang myself. It was a false sense of hope. I always barely peak my head out of this misery but in no time my mom triggers me and brings me right back to the start. This cycle feels never ending. I want to end it. I'll just really play the part this time so no one will suspect anything. I'm being overly cautious though. Not me thinking my parents would even try to stop me . It would be a relief and they know it.