Seasonal Depression or Legit Depression

[Mortelles]

I've been diagnosed with PTSd, GAD, and MDD but during the holidays I've noticed my depression get worse and I recently got cheated on and the feelings of not being good enough have been increasing. My mom keeps reminding me that my past choices have had an impact on my entire family and that I'm a financial burden on her, but here's the thing I have SSI and I contribute what and where I can. She calls me a narcissist when I bring up her behaviors. She told me that I hate her and I don't. I hate myself. I'm not as far as I could be in life, most people my age have kids, or have school degrees but I don't and shed put me in a financial situation where I can't attend school; which was my only other joy and passion besides horses. She took money from me with the promise of paying it back but it's been months and I still haven't received it. Living in a toxic household is hard enough but when she starts drinking things get worse. I'm worried I'm going to get actively suicidal, instead of passive which is where it is now.

 

[Tautochrome]

More like situational depression, which is still very much "legit". Sorry you're going through this, she doesn't understand how difficult things are for you