Scared of failing with N

[Buttercup]

As the title suggests I'm scared of failing with N. In my head I know what I have to do but I'm just petrified of it not working. I will take Buccastem for 2 days prior, fast for 8 hours, have a light meal 1 hour before, decanter N into a cup and drink then chase with a whisky. It all sounds so easy so why am I worried?

 

[WadeingThru]

It all sounds so easy so why am I worried?

Perhaps you are worried because this is the biggest decision you will make in your whole life. Are you 100% sure this is the right decision?

 

[Buttercup]

100%, I just don't want to fail

 

[Lost Magic]

100%, I just don't want to fail

If you follow the guidelines appropriately then you have a lesser chance of failing. Are you going to be drinking one bottle of N or two?

 

[Shu]

N is the gold standard.

 

[Buttercup]

If you follow the guidelines appropriately then you have a lesser chance of failing. Are you going to be drinking one bottle of N or two?

2

 

[Lost Magic]

2

Cool, well good luck when the time comes. You have the good stuff. There is no rush though. Take it when and if the time is right.

 

[Buttercup]

Would it be better to lie or sit down after taking it?

 

[Lost Magic]

Would it be better to lie or sit down after taking it?

Sitting up is better for sure. I have a giant back pillow to prop me up haha.

 

[Al Cappella]

Just make sure you're someplace you're not found, and hide your phones so you don't make a desperation call—but N is apparently quick, so it's not that much of a thing…

 

[Lost Magic]

Just make sure you're someplace you're not found, and hide your phones so you don't make a desperation call—but N is apparently quick, so it's not that much of a thing…

You know it is so fucking surreal to have two bottles of Nembutal in my cupboard. I heard Dr Philip Nitschke, for years, always going on about how it was the holy grail and how comforting it was to have it tucked away in case one needs it. then it went from that to a failed exit bag setup (regulating pressure problems) then SN and now this. It's great in one hand but on the other I know that my days are numbered. Sounds stupid to even think like that but what else do I or anybody know about what comes after all this? Anyway, I have been doing a lot of decluttering of late and organising everything like the will and things. I hope N is quick because to tbh, I just want to sleep so badly and never wake up. Sorry for going on a bit lol My mind is not what it was and I haven't slept properly in days.

 

[Al Cappella]

I'm scared to order the stuff…

 

[Lost Magic]

I'm scared to order the stuff…

So was I for a loong time. I forgot about it for a while but when it kept coming up again I just went for it. Was gonna die somehow anyway, so the risk for me, was worth it.

 

[watchingthewheels]

As the title suggests I'm scared of failing with N. In my head I know what I have to do but I'm just petrified of it not working. I will take Buccastem for 2 days prior, fast for 8 hours, have a light meal 1 hour before, decanter N into a cup and drink then chase with a whisky. It all sounds so easy so why am I worried?

Despite the reports of success with N, and the peaceful nature, I've had the same concern. Then I had an honest conversation with myself:
Is if fear of failing at N, or fear of succeeding with N, disguised by SI as "fear of failing"?

Because once it's done, it's done. If one has it, they can theoretically go at any time of their choosing. But they'd better be sure that's what they truly want, because there are no "do-overs", that's how good it is.

 

[Buttercup]

I haven't slept properly for months. I know what you mean, it's reassuring to know it's there but on the other hand your like o shit this is actually gonna happen. I hope it's just nothingness on the other side, like before you were born.

 

[watchingthewheels]

Sitting up is better for sure. I have a giant back pillow to prop me up haha.

And you're "sure" because...?
Not saying you're wrong, but I am asking the reason for your certainty, because I've asked that question here, and no one responded. However, there was a "N 2.0 Files" here detailing the ins-and-outs, and that thread claimed that it was better to lie down.

"- Make sure you are laying down comfortably either on your back or side. You should fall asleep within 5-10 mins."
However, that article didn't say why either...

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/the-n-files-2-0.82469/

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I honestly don't think it matters whether you're sitting up or lying down. I don't think we've ever had anyone come back and say they vomited up the N.

 

[Lost Magic]

I honestly don't think it matters whether you're sitting up or lying down. I don't think we've ever had anyone come back and say they vomited up the N.

Vomiting is still a risk so better to be sitting up than laying flat. Just a precaution.

I haven't slept properly for months. I know what you mean, it's reassuring to know it's there but on the other hand your like o shit this is actually gonna happen. I hope it's just nothingness on the other side, like before you were born.

Buttercup, when I got mine in I was over the freaking moon, but like you say once it is in you are like, fuck this shit is getting real. I don't know the real shelf life of N and I will probably never be able to get it again. Tbh I think it is a good kick up the arse and motivator for the inevitable. Now, I can concentrate on cracking on with the last things I want to do before the clock's hands stop for good. I'm curious to know how you and others feel about this.

 

[Buttercup]

Vomiting is still a risk so better to be sitting up than laying flat. Just a precaution.

Buttercup, when I got mine in I was over the freaking moon, but like you say once it is in you are like, fuck this shit is getting real. I don't know the real shelf life of N and I will probably never be able to get it again. Tbh I think it is a good kick up the arse and motivator for the inevitable. Now, I can concentrate on cracking on with the last things I want to do before the clock's hands stop for good. I'm curious to know how you and others feel about this.

Well everyday is a struggle for me with mental torture so I keep thinking just take it now and I won't have to live with this anymore but I know I have to do it at the right time when I won't be found and when I'm mentally ready. I've planned a date so working towards that, I think I'll know when the time is right.

 

[Lost Magic]

Vomiting is still a risk so better to be sitting up than laying flat. Just a precaution.

Well everyday is a struggle for me with mental torture so I keep thinking just take it now and I won't have to live with this anymore but I know I have to do it at the right time when I won't be found and when I'm mentally ready. I've planned a date so working towards that, I think I'll know when the time is right.

Exactly, you'll know when you are ready. I hope it all goes well for you. We are lucky to have that N. Hell, even SN was a blessing.