Scared I'll pussy out.

[kilowatt]

I'm less than a week away from my CTB planned date. I'm determined to do it, I really tried my best to get everything right, but the thought of failing is haunting me. Not failing to die and ending up disabled, but failing to push through the stress of the situation and simply deciding to go home. Even if I know how to ''get myself in the mood'' and I already am pretty comfortable with the atmosphere, it's hard to not think of the worst. I do hope the alcohol will make it easier. Any tips on avoiding to hold back in that scenario?

My method is train decapitation.

 

[fishlover]

i feel the same way. if i get too scared to do it in the end itd be really pathetic. im already failing at life, so failing to kill myself? id be ashamed to still be alive.
i hope in the end im able to go through with it. the idea seems easy now, but i know itll all be different when im really faced with my death.

 

[kilowatt]

I think you mean CTT not CTB as you're catching a train not a bus and I think this method is too extreme for many if at all any to condone or advise on. I'm sorry but I hope you do pussy out on this one if just to find a less extreme way to die.

...No offense but replies like these just make me more suicidal.
Do you really think I'd pick such a cruel method if I had any other choice? I think you're just being insensitive. Sorry, no, I'm not going to back off for that single reason after over half a year of planning this.

 

[Yaffle]

You'll need balls for this one to beat the SI. Even to the point of being prepared for how cold the rails will be and how uncomfortable it'll be in the cold weather let alone the impending train.

Along with jumping from height I used to think about jumping in front of a train, not laying on the rails for decapitation.

I found a nice quite level crossing on a high speed section of track. Would often imagine charging out at the last minute and being splatted to oblivion.

Ultimately that's exactly what killed this for me as a viable method. Regardless of whether I could beat the SI to do it, I simply couldn't do it to the train driver.

Ifs your call and we'll all support you, keep us posted with your thoughts.

 

[Eternal🌈Rainbow]

I feel you so much. And I'm so sorry your suffering has brought you to this point. I wish you the very best, and I truly hope you're able to cease your suffering.
I'm really sorry.
A big warm hug to you

 

[kilowatt]

You'll need balls for this one to beat the SI. Even to the point of being prepared for how cold the rails will be and how uncomfortable it'll be in the cold weather let alone the impending train.

Along with jumping from height I used to think about jumping in front of a train, not laying on the rails for decapitation.

I found a nice quite level crossing on a high speed section of track. Would often imagine charging out at the last minute and being splatted to oblivion.

Ultimately that's exactly what killed this for me as a viable method. Regardless of whether I could beat the SI to do it, I simply couldn't do it to the train driver.

Ifs your call and we'll all support you, keep us posted with your thoughts.

Honestly the weather has been one of my biggest concerns. I'm afraid I might have to postpone my attempt by a day or 2. Tho the circumstances make it hard.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish it's not so difficult to die on our own terms, I find it cruel how we cannot just have the option to just die in a peaceful way. But anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom you are searching for.

 

[AllAlone]

I've been thinking about doing train decapitation as well. I imagine a clean deception but it might be hard to actually pull off. I guess the fear is getting mangled but somehow surviving. But if you are determined to die you can push through the fear.

 

[hi-okbye]

i understand how you feel. definitely recommend alcohol and whatever else you can find to just kinda buzz you out. if you know which direction the train is coming, i recommend you face the opposite direction as watching a 3,000-20,000 ton object with blinding lights will probably scare you a lot. try wearing black if your doing it at night (so the train driver has less time to spot you), and if your lying on the tracks, put your neck on the part where the wheel will go, so you instantly get decapitated. i wish you luck and i hope you can find some peace <3

 

[MrBrownUpsideD]

If you're able to go for train decapitation then surely you can go for decapitation by drop hanging? It's a far more controlled, studied and reliable method than anything involving a train. If you've been planning it for over half a year then I assume you have time to spare. You only die once. Don't rush it.

Jumping in front of a train is very accessible but requires a lot more determination to get past the rational and irrational fears. If that's what you're worrying about right now, then I'm almost certain this isn't the method for you.