Scared and hopeless from seeing abuse for what it is now but still being unable to stop it

[SpriLovve]

I've gotten so much more aware when it comes to abuse I go through, I feel like I can see it with unclouded eyes now. That hasnt stopped any of the abuse from happening though, I just feel more terrified now.
I'm so scared that this is how I'm gonna die, physical abuse gets worse over time and a few people already treat me so horribly. They inentionally scare me and then laugh at me, wonder aloud how easy it would be to break my arm, hit me for no reason, etc. I'm completely overpowered by them physically and I don't know what to do.. I don't want to die before getting to achieve at least some of my dreams, I don't want to die before finding some peace in my life.

 

[Hvergelmir]

They inentionally scare me and then laugh at me, wonder aloud how easy it would be to break my arm, hit me for no reason, etc.

Get out of those circles, there will come nothing good out of maintaining them.
Also consider joining a martial arts club. It'll give you a more accurate idea of the physical threat picture, while also strengthening your ability to protect yourself. I think it could make you more confident.

 

[SpriLovve]

Get out of those circles, there will come nothing good out of maintaining them.
Also consider joining a martial arts club. It'll give you a more accurate idea of the physical threat picture, while also strengthening your ability to protect yourself. I think it could make you more confident.

I don't know how to get away from these people unfortunately.. I have certain disabilities that make total independance a forgone conclusion for me unfortunately. That fact also allows bad people to more easily root themselves in my life, I feel helpless honestly.

 

[Hvergelmir]

I don't know how to get away from these people unfortunately.. I have certain disabilities that make total independance a forgone conclusion for me unfortunately.

I don't know the nature of your disability, but I know that a lot of people are stuck in similar circumstances simply because it's all they know.

It's hard to give specific advice, but it sounds like they're breaking laws in the way they treat you. Maybe authorities can help?

 

[SpriLovve]

I don't know the nature of your disability, but I know that a lot of people are stuck in similar circumstances simply because it's all they know.

It's hard to give specific advice, but it sounds like they're breaking laws in the way they treat you. Maybe authorities can help?

I honestly have no clue if advice is even what I'm looking for, it's just excruciating living like this. I've always been hesitant to involve authorities because things havent gone well for me in the past when I involve others. Also the justice system is extremely corrupt where I live and I have very little faith in it. Either way, in posting here I'm just grateful to be able to vent and be heard.