Saying goodbye - How do you deal with this?

[AngelBritney]

Today I had my weekly appointment at ergotherapy and I loved the appointments there with that one employee. When she told me she will be on vacation for the next weeks I shattered inside because I wanted to see her one last time before CTB.

She noticed my mood changed. I didn't tell her anything about my planned suicide but she asked if I want to harm myself ("Nah, I'm fine.").

I thanked her for everything and said my goodbyes... but a bit different this time because I will never see her again. I had to act spontaneous because I didn't expect her to leave next week.

I was extremely scared she might call an ambulance because her look when I left the building was different than usual. Thankfully no one arrived at my home.
But damn, it's scary and hard to say your final goodbyes without letting it sound like a final goodbye.

I plan to say my goodbyes to others but I am scared I will leave a hint about my suicide without noticing it and they will call the police or an ambulance.

Did you say your goodbyes to the people who are important to you?

 

[Forveleth]

No goodbyes for me. I do not want to tip off anyone. Also, if my attempt fails it will just feel weird seeing them again.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

No goodbyes for me. I do not want to tip off anyone. Also, if my attempt fails it will just feel weird seeing them again.

This is something that sucks about suicide. There's so much I want to say to my dad. I love that guy. But to speak honestly would be to get 5150ed so I guess my note will have to do.

 

[Suicidalastronaut]

I hope what I'm going to do will make people feel guilty, especially at my previous employer. There's only like 3 people I legitimately feel bad about doing this to, but they had to know that this was a potential outcome when they agreed to join on in this.