Venting sara

[esorcista]

i don't know why i am writing on here.
there is a girl and i got really attached to her. i was a "normal" guy, i never thought that i will be like this. i cant stay 2 hours without her…. most of the times i get suicidal because i cant talk to her or i feel like i am not her favourite person. i don't really mind being alone, but i cant be without her. i usually cry for her, i feel sad when im not with her, i feel empty. she blocked me on saturday (and i know she is going to unblock me) and im getting worse since then, but i want her to text me. i don't know how can i forget about her.

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

This sounds like emotional dependence. Does this girl feel the same way about you and act the same way ?

 

[esorcista]

This sounds like emotional dependence. Does this girl feel the same way about you and act the same way ?

i don't think so how can i move on?

 

[parallelluniverse]

i dont know how you can forget her, but if you put your attention on something else when you think about it... and engage with it, this might help

maybe talk to someone else, give a treat to yourself, talk about it, let it out, come on SaSu

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

i don't think so how can i move on?

It's hard to say. What kind of relationship do you have with this girl ?

 

[esorcista]

It's hard to say. What kind of relationship do you have with this girl ?

yeah sorry you're right, i havent said anything about us. i met her on …… telegram…… and i texted her for some groups ( cuz i often delete the account and lose every group ) and she told me that she hasnt any group and stop. after 8/9 months she texts me again and since then we talked almost everyday. this is embarassing to say, and im scared that she will read this, but we "act" like mother-son, even tho there is only 2 years of difference ( she is the oldest between us ). i vent with her, she know EVERYTHING about me. she is the one that never leaves me and i really like this about her, and im sure that she is coming back. probably she manipulates me, but i don't care, i just wanna be with her

i dont know how you can forget her, but if you put your attention on something else when you think about it... and engage with it, this might help

maybe talk to someone else, give a treat to yourself, talk about it, let it out, come on SaSu

i want to forget her, but at the same time i don't i'm sure she loves me too and i really like her company and personality

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

this is embarassing to say, and im scared that she will read this.

From what you implied, she must know that you frequent this forum, right ?

i vent with her, she know EVERYTHING about me. she is the one that never leaves me and i really like this about her, and im sure that she is coming back. probably she manipulates me, but i don't care, i just wanna be with her

It's good that you have someone you can vent to and listen to your problems, but knowing that she is supposedly "manipulating" you in some way doesn't bother you at all ? Well, maybe you're so blinded by love that you don't care about it as you said, but depending on the way she supposedly "manipulates" you, that could be harmful, right ?

But anyway, it's difficult to deal with this kind of case since you clearly refuse to forget her. But keep in mind that above all it is important to have a healthy relationship without being completely emotionally dependent on it, this can be very harmful for you.

Remember that she has a life of her own, and if she chooses to be with someone else, you may be left aside and forgotten and that won't be good for you, that's why I emphasize that above all, it's not worth it. It's a shame to be emotionally dependent on someone else. Try talking to other people, venting here on the forum, there will always be someone to answer and help you, that's SaSu's goal, and I hope you don't feel offended by anything I said. I'm just telling the truth, but if you want to continue living the same way then that's fine, it's your life and you decide what you do with it.

 

[sceáwere]

This is quite relatable for me. I texted every day with a girl for nearly a year before I came to the conclusion she was only talking to me out of boredom and that she did not value me in any way (which is understandable, I don't have any value objectively). I eventually became bitter with the way she feigned many things -she responded by saying I wasn't an easy person to talk to-, so I became more obsessive and uptight which lead her to temporarily block me. It reached a point where I became really rather rude to her in an attempt to try and provoke her into expressing her real feelings for me, after which I blocked her decisively. In the end it was my fault, really. Perhaps you went through something similar? It pains me to say this but she likely does not hold you in much regard.

 

[TopChicken]

While I agree with Ethernatuskoi, I will also say that if this is literally the only thing keeping you going, then by all means keep talking to her. Be prepared though, bc somebody who you openly admit is manipulating you, will at some point stop interacting with you bc it isn't a genuine relationship and you may be worse off than you are now.

My advice is to block her, and either talk to someone professionally, if you can, or to someone, or everyone, here on SS. You can also go on reddit on one of the r4r subreddits and try to find new people to talk to, but you need to realize that this may happen again. I dont know what will work for you, but definitely try to find a way to not become so dependent/attached to other people. Some is good but too much isn't. You can also post on the relationship advice subreddits and maybe someone will have a more concrete way to help you.

Either way I wish you all the best.

 

[RemainingDubious]

This is likely going to come across harsh and probably the last thing you want to hear:

i got really attached to her.

You solely got yourself into attached by the way you think about her. You're also the only one who can become attached by the way you think about her also.

i cant stay 2 hours without her…. most of the times i get suicidal because i cant talk to her or i feel like i am not her favourite person.

i cant be without her. i usually cry for her, i feel sad when im not with her, i feel empty. she blocked me on saturday

Did she ask you to feel this intense about her? Does she even want you to feel this intense about her? It doesn't sound like it since she blocked you.

If you love somebody, let them go, if they come back, they're yours. If not they never were.

She doesn't have to make you her favourite person.

How would you feel if someone expected you to be their favourite person who felt this intense about you? Would you be okay with it even if the feelings weren't mutual?

 

[esorcista]

From what you implied, she must know that you frequent this forum, right ?

yeah but she doesnt know the name of the forum, but i don't think she will find out
this post and even if she did i didnt say anything of new for her. im not really sure she manipulates me, but its hard to think for me that she talks to me w/o any problems. she loves me 2, but i want to be her favorite person like she is to me. im 100% sure she will return. im gonna wait for her until sunday, if she doesnt text me, im going to text her.

In the end it was my fault, really. Perhaps you went through something similar? It pains me to say this but she likely does not hold you in much regard.

this time is my fault, i blocked her first cuz i wanted more attentions but i asked her to NOT block me cuz i would've unblocked her soon, but she didnt listen. plus i've provoked her saying that i was gonna search some other girl for receiving attentions, she got mad but i don't know why i think she was acting .

This is likely going to come across harsh and probably the last thing you want to hear:

You solely got yourself into attached by the way you think about her. You're also the only one who can become attached by the way you think about her also.




Did she ask you to feel this intense about her? Does she even want you to feel this intense about her? It doesn't sound like it since she blocked you.

If you love somebody, let them go, if they come back, they're yours. If not they never were.

She doesn't have to make you her favourite person.

How would you feel if someone expected you to be their favourite person who felt this intense about you? Would you be okay with it even if the feelings weren't mutual?

she knows she's my favorite person, and this never bothered her. one time we blocked each other and she texted me with another number non ironicslly i liked this action very much !!

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

Something similar happened to me at the end of last year. I talked to a girl every day, we had known each other since 2019 and we even started dating online after a while, and luckily this online relationship worked out, but we separated some time later, and despite being separated I knew she still liked me, so much so that she sent me messages every day, until in October 2023 we lost contact permanently. At first it was painful, but then I just accepted the loss, but I admit that I still think about her and miss her sometimes.

 

[esorcista]

Something similar happened to me at the end of last year. I talked to a girl every day, we had known each other since 2019 and we even started dating online after a while, and luckily this online relationship worked out, but we separated some time later, and despite being separated I knew she still liked me, so much so that she sent me messages every day, until in October 2023 we lost contact permanently. At first it was painful, but then I just accepted the loss, but I admit that I still think about her and miss her sometimes.

she told me that when i will be better mentally ( and i feel "good" now ) she would've liked to see me irl . sorry for the grammatically incorrect messages but im not english and thanks to everyone i feel better for this moment!!

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

sorry for the grammatically incorrect messages but im not english

No problem, by the way, where are you from ? If you don't mind answering of course.

 

[RemainingDubious]

No problem, by the way, where are you from ? If you don't mind answering of course.

Your mam

Sorry i couldn't resist. It's an immature english response to that type of question.

 

[esorcista]

No problem, by the way, where are you from ? If you don't mind answering of course.

italy!! i cant stop thinking about her. if i don't get a message from her until monday im going to delete every social that can lead back to me

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

I hope you can be happy with this girl despite everything. I wish you good luck.

But if it doesn't work, look for another way to be happy and don't just depend on her presence or suffer for her absence ;)