Sad

[msesis]

The day is getting closer and closer and I'm just sad. Whenever I get a chance to think about things the amount of sadness overwhelms me. Sometimes I just can't even understand how unfortunate this is. Like I was so close to getting better. It's my fault? I don't know.

I don't understand how any of this could be real
Sorry this is vague. I'm just venting. SN hopefully arriving in a few weeks (please pass customs, lord). Someone said can I visit? I said sure. But it won't make a difference. I'm trying not to appear so sad but I feel like deep down I know it will not be okay anymore. Ow ow ow