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I'm a loose cannon - I bang all the time.
Aug 15, 2021
Blow me like a hurricane
Make America great again
During my third divorce
I Garfunkel'd your mother
My socks? My hair smells worse
Your profile said female
I'm a vegan crossfitter
Don't tell mom
So, salad it is?
Get in the van!
It's not gonna suck itself
I love your breadstick
Vote Bernie
Jesus loves you
The window tastes nice
We lost our wallets
I hate that dress
Shit, there's my wife
Mmm, pineapple pizza!
At least you're white
Do you like trains?
Interesting skull you got there
Pull my finger
Bill's on you
Between jobs
My post to like ratio is
Guess what you're eating
You sweet summer child

In reality, all I have to do to ruin a first date is to show up.