opheliaoveragain
Global Mod | Anorexic Junkie
- Jun 2, 2024
- 2,197
Given everything going on, all I can think about is being able to get SN (no dice yet) or to get partial right, I don't know if I can stand clocking clean time from fent, despite how badly I want to use, given that life is not going to get better in the US. They are going to get much worse… I am constantly fighting myself, I just want it to stop. I don't want to fight SI, hence my first method being F OD, but that shit can get tricky when you have a predisposition of abuse and have used large amounts in the past thinking it would be enough, but my tolerance wasn't low enough. Second method is SN, which is seemingly becoming harder and harder in the US. Last being partial, I've put my head in a noose more times than I've showered in the past month due to depression, but biology is shit, finding the right arties etc. I kinda just ended up with the rope that I have, the grade is not that of smooth nylon etc… But I feel like I deserve it, I just want a less painful way out but I don't know how much longer I can keep going.
