So, I don't know how many of you guys are familiar with a company called "Rooster Teeth" but basically they were a digital media company making stuff like comedic Youtube videos. And it was announced yesterday that the company is shutting down after 21 years. And the impact of that news on me has been... layered.
I hadn't really been watching their content for many years. The last time I used to watch their content regularly was in maybe 2017. But I started watching it long before that. Maybe in 2009 or something. And I kept watching pretty consistently for almost 10 years.
I started with "Red vs. Blue" (basically their flagship series) and then I started watching their shorts and AHWU. And when they started doing Let's Plays I would watch those all the time.
Anyway, despite what a lot of this post so far might suggest this isn't primarily meant to be a post about Rooster Teeth specifically. It's more about the nostalgia I feel surrounding both Rooster Teeth and my life in the past in general.
Back in 2009 or whatever when I was playing a lot of Halo with friends I was watching Rooster Teeth. Those were good memories.
Back in 2012-2015 I was going through my second depression and a really difficult time due to having my social and failure anxiety prevent me from going to college. During this time I would watch SO MUCH Rooster Teeth content. And it's one of the things that made me laugh and kept me entertained during this really depressing period.
And then there's 2011... probably the landmark year of my life. And it's really what I was thinking about just now and what made me make this post.
Rooster Teeth had this series called "Fails of the Weak" where they covered funny fails in the video game "Halo: Reach." And I have this very, very strong and very specific memory from 2011 associated with it.
There was this time in 2011 where I had just met my first girlfriend and we had only recently gotten together. And I remembering spending a bunch of really happy time with her at her house that day. And then my father drove me home and we stopped for burgers and milkshakes to take home. And I remember sitting in front of my PC in my room and watching "Fails of the Weak" drinking my milkshake and eating my burger and fries. And I also think I played some "Halo: Reach" myself that day.
And that might seem like an odd thing to remember so specifically. But the thing is... this really was such a special time in my life. I can't say that it was without its flaws. I still had problems with stuff like body dysmorphia. But it was the closest I have ever been to being truly happy. And to feeling that my life was going in the right direction.
I was in my final year of high school and that year was actually a very fun year (fewer classes, lots of creative projects). I was heading to college soon after which I was looking forward to. I was starting to get out of my first depression and dealing with my BDD better. And perhaps most importantly I had a girlfriend I was madly in love with and who was madly in love with me. Who I spent just... so many happy moments with. And I was watching this funny show and eating this delicious burger and drinking this delicious milkshake right after coming from spending time with the woman I loved most in the world. And it's just... I don't want to say perfect because no moment is but... blissful, I guess.
After 2011 my life went completely to shit too. And it has never recovered. I think that's another reason why that year and those memories stand out for me so much. Cuz they were such a contrast with what came after.
It is overwhelming though to think about that moment. I was just rewatching some "Fails of the Weak" videos. And it really does feel overwhelming. I almost wanted to cry at one point. And I'm not sure how to deal with it.
I would give anything and everything to go back to 2011 when I was first watching those videos. To that moment where I was eating that burger and drinking that shake and remembering the day I had with my first girlfriend. And the fact that I can't go back... it hurts.
Sorry if "Off Topic" is the wrong category for this, btw. But since Rooster Teeth is media and media stuff generally gets posted in here I figured this was the place best suited for this post.
I hadn't really been watching their content for many years. The last time I used to watch their content regularly was in maybe 2017. But I started watching it long before that. Maybe in 2009 or something. And I kept watching pretty consistently for almost 10 years.
I started with "Red vs. Blue" (basically their flagship series) and then I started watching their shorts and AHWU. And when they started doing Let's Plays I would watch those all the time.
Anyway, despite what a lot of this post so far might suggest this isn't primarily meant to be a post about Rooster Teeth specifically. It's more about the nostalgia I feel surrounding both Rooster Teeth and my life in the past in general.
Back in 2009 or whatever when I was playing a lot of Halo with friends I was watching Rooster Teeth. Those were good memories.
Back in 2012-2015 I was going through my second depression and a really difficult time due to having my social and failure anxiety prevent me from going to college. During this time I would watch SO MUCH Rooster Teeth content. And it's one of the things that made me laugh and kept me entertained during this really depressing period.
And then there's 2011... probably the landmark year of my life. And it's really what I was thinking about just now and what made me make this post.
Rooster Teeth had this series called "Fails of the Weak" where they covered funny fails in the video game "Halo: Reach." And I have this very, very strong and very specific memory from 2011 associated with it.
There was this time in 2011 where I had just met my first girlfriend and we had only recently gotten together. And I remembering spending a bunch of really happy time with her at her house that day. And then my father drove me home and we stopped for burgers and milkshakes to take home. And I remember sitting in front of my PC in my room and watching "Fails of the Weak" drinking my milkshake and eating my burger and fries. And I also think I played some "Halo: Reach" myself that day.
And that might seem like an odd thing to remember so specifically. But the thing is... this really was such a special time in my life. I can't say that it was without its flaws. I still had problems with stuff like body dysmorphia. But it was the closest I have ever been to being truly happy. And to feeling that my life was going in the right direction.
I was in my final year of high school and that year was actually a very fun year (fewer classes, lots of creative projects). I was heading to college soon after which I was looking forward to. I was starting to get out of my first depression and dealing with my BDD better. And perhaps most importantly I had a girlfriend I was madly in love with and who was madly in love with me. Who I spent just... so many happy moments with. And I was watching this funny show and eating this delicious burger and drinking this delicious milkshake right after coming from spending time with the woman I loved most in the world. And it's just... I don't want to say perfect because no moment is but... blissful, I guess.
After 2011 my life went completely to shit too. And it has never recovered. I think that's another reason why that year and those memories stand out for me so much. Cuz they were such a contrast with what came after.
It is overwhelming though to think about that moment. I was just rewatching some "Fails of the Weak" videos. And it really does feel overwhelming. I almost wanted to cry at one point. And I'm not sure how to deal with it.
I would give anything and everything to go back to 2011 when I was first watching those videos. To that moment where I was eating that burger and drinking that shake and remembering the day I had with my first girlfriend. And the fact that I can't go back... it hurts.
Sorry if "Off Topic" is the wrong category for this, btw. But since Rooster Teeth is media and media stuff generally gets posted in here I figured this was the place best suited for this post.
