I'm a 22M living in Brazil, only child. I just want to put some stuff out about my life (and take some advice if necessary, but not the primary goal of this post).
Socially speaking, I'm a true disaster. I had some childhood friends, but they were going to illegal parties during the pandemic, and I didn't think it was right. I tried to contact them in the last months, but it wasn't the same anymore: they were all engaged in relationships and would not hang out anymore. My overprotective mother often transferred me between schools when I was a teenager; as a result, I couldn't keep friends there in the long run and develop my social skills as other people did. Also, the fact that I was two years below every classmate (because she taught me how to read and write very early) didn't help my socialization at all.
This made me have friends only on the internet. Omegle was a great source of friends, I've met a couple there. The whole thing was very superficial though, I've never made audio/video calls with them or shared deeper secrets, we used only to chit-chat and play online. I met my only girlfriend there, but we lived almost 4 hours by plane apart; it was a virtual relationship. On a range of almost two years, we only met physically three times. This was the only non-superficial relationship I've ever had with someone, but the fact that we lived that much apart and that we had some different, conflicting life views made us break up about a year ago.
I am now practically all alone. I've been on this job since 2022, and it's the only social environment I'm in; though people there are a bit older than me, in their 30s+. I'm also in college, but I haven't been there since two years ago both because of my job and because of my social anxiety while doing presentations in public; I don't have friends there because the ones I used to have all graduated, and the remaining students already have their circle of friends well-established. I simply don't know how to develop deeper relationships as I used to. When I have a close friendship with someone, I'm very extroverted, but I don't know how to make friendships closer anymore (I don't even have a friendship to start with). Now that Omegle is down, my interaction with people around my age is almost null.
Even though I'm not rich, I'm not poor either. I'm really good professionally speaking, I can't deny that. However, this social thing is killing me inside. I never drank or did any kind of drugs, and it hurts when I discover that the majority of people around my age just do that. It just hurts when I see a couple on the streets too. I don't consider myself ugly, but I don't know how to approach a girl; the ones that I approach never go through because I always do something dumb. I tried a therapist once, but it didn't work out; she didn't understand me. I'm not sure if I want to try again, there are a lot of things to fix inside me. Demolishing a building is sometimes cheaper than reforming it.
Socially speaking, I'm a true disaster. I had some childhood friends, but they were going to illegal parties during the pandemic, and I didn't think it was right. I tried to contact them in the last months, but it wasn't the same anymore: they were all engaged in relationships and would not hang out anymore. My overprotective mother often transferred me between schools when I was a teenager; as a result, I couldn't keep friends there in the long run and develop my social skills as other people did. Also, the fact that I was two years below every classmate (because she taught me how to read and write very early) didn't help my socialization at all.
This made me have friends only on the internet. Omegle was a great source of friends, I've met a couple there. The whole thing was very superficial though, I've never made audio/video calls with them or shared deeper secrets, we used only to chit-chat and play online. I met my only girlfriend there, but we lived almost 4 hours by plane apart; it was a virtual relationship. On a range of almost two years, we only met physically three times. This was the only non-superficial relationship I've ever had with someone, but the fact that we lived that much apart and that we had some different, conflicting life views made us break up about a year ago.
I am now practically all alone. I've been on this job since 2022, and it's the only social environment I'm in; though people there are a bit older than me, in their 30s+. I'm also in college, but I haven't been there since two years ago both because of my job and because of my social anxiety while doing presentations in public; I don't have friends there because the ones I used to have all graduated, and the remaining students already have their circle of friends well-established. I simply don't know how to develop deeper relationships as I used to. When I have a close friendship with someone, I'm very extroverted, but I don't know how to make friendships closer anymore (I don't even have a friendship to start with). Now that Omegle is down, my interaction with people around my age is almost null.
Even though I'm not rich, I'm not poor either. I'm really good professionally speaking, I can't deny that. However, this social thing is killing me inside. I never drank or did any kind of drugs, and it hurts when I discover that the majority of people around my age just do that. It just hurts when I see a couple on the streets too. I don't consider myself ugly, but I don't know how to approach a girl; the ones that I approach never go through because I always do something dumb. I tried a therapist once, but it didn't work out; she didn't understand me. I'm not sure if I want to try again, there are a lot of things to fix inside me. Demolishing a building is sometimes cheaper than reforming it.
