Personally, I will not tell anyone if I end up planning on ctb. The reason why it is so difficult is because of our fear of death and/or injury. Unfortunately, I don't think there is any workable solution to that. Anyone who does choose to ctb (as many other people here have emphasized) should make sure they do so in as effectively and painlessly a way as they can possibly manage. In any case, I don't think it's a good idea to tell anyone as it may end up with you being interred at the psych ward or forced into some other unpleasant experience. If you do genuinely want to seek help and believe talking about it would help you, then fine. But informing anyone would generally risk sabotaging a plan before you could even initiate it.
I really didn't expect so many answers, thank you so much! It's such an important topic and still, I couldn't find a similar thread.
@druggedonsurvival
There might be a misunderstanding, I wouldn't tell anyone about the attempt BEFORE the attempt. As I said, that is way too risky, because that person, will either get into trouble or might report you. Iam trying to find out, how you could send a message that will arrive in time after you already died. It is important, in case the attempt fails.
You can definitely schedule emails to be sent at a specific time and date, and so long as it hasn't been sent yet you can still cancel. There are email services which aren't kept in singular data centers but instead the data is distributed among different areas such that a message won't be traced back to the sender. In regards to telling someone your plans, there's always a risk they may get in trouble depending on how much they knew and their involvement. And in regards to the police letting a specific family member know first, it's up to their discretion. They'll choose whether or not to show it to who you want after they know more about the situation, in the mean time it'll be evidence, thing is that they might question many family members to see what led you to CTB before they even distribute any letter to a loved one.
That's good to know, thank you. And you're sure a mail like that wouldn't be traced?
They will contact my mother for sure, I know that, but I would want them to inform my brother first, so that he can be there for her when she gets to know. She lives alone in a different city, all by herself. It would be horrorfying if my brother is not around.
The police (or rather, the coroner) will notify your immediate next of kin first. Who this is will depend on where you live.
I'm sorry to say it, but your note and pleading will not matter, there is protocol that must be followed.
Edit- there are legal ways to designate someone as having the right to control your disposition. In some locations this would be called "Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare". Other locations may have different names or forms for it. If this legal paperwork was found on or with you, and named that specific person- they would be the one contacted.
THIS is a really important comment for me. I NEED to know more about it. So to everyone, please let me know how I could handle that. Iam from germany and I found a document to declare such a power of attorney BUT... It needs to be signed by the "appointed agent". Do you think, it will be accepted, if I would leave that space open? I could also fake my brothers signature, I don't think that I need to care about that lol... Maybe there are other ways. I guess an informal letter is insufficiant? :/ I'll do what I can.
Hell... I guess I will have to make sure, that my brother will be informed first. And he lives 200 km far away from my mother, whereas it is only 10 km for me. So a scedulded mail will be necessary.
Maybe tell something here you trust a little information about yourself so they can call ( anonymously) to police/ help services after the amount of time you want to be found?
That would also work. But what if they get caught/tracked? They will get into trouble for not reporting me. Is it really possible to call them anonymously? I doubt that. In addition to that, I don't know anybody here who would do that for me. :/
You can schedule an email to reach out to authorities. Although, I would personally email someone I know to reach out to the authorities on my behalf with this method instead. Buracratic agencies such as police departments are notorious for being technologically illiterate and slow to respond. Your best bet would be to reach out to someone that can make a phone call on your behalf.
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Thank you so much! But can providers like gmail really be trusted? Don't you think scedulded mails are getting filtered, by an AI for example? I see that the scedulded option will be the only one I could use, but I don't trust emial providers that much... Is there a specific supersafe provider where I can be sure, that it is absolutely nontrackible? Sorry guys, I need to ask and know. :(
I think many wrote here instructions about scheduled mails. (In gmail its very easy to use it, try to test it sending a schudeled email to yoursefl).
Regarding the place, i strong believe that a hotel is the best place to CTB. You can plan the exact hour to drink your N so that you have around 24 hrs before someone find you (checkout time).
Also if you eventually fail, you can easy call reception and ask for help almbulance.
Ps: before i was planning to CTB in a forest, but that would just complicated thing for everyone, so i changed my idea to the classic CTB in a Hotel room.
so basically, Im planning to CTB in a hotel, schedulle mail letters (gmail) to my family and ill also leave 2 writen note next to my corpse, 1) to the coroner/police and 2) my family, with my ID and family contact number next to my corpse, in the hotel bed. Also ill leave the N empty and consumed bottles next to my letter and body so they will have a proof that i really killed mysef by self poisoning so i make sure i dont start any unecessary criminal investigation by the police.
Hi @mehdone
do you think this planning is ok? I just wants things to end smoothly / easy to everyone (hotel employeers, coroner, policie and of course my family). Or based on the police/ coroner protocol should i add or review any step in order to facilitate things for everyone after a ingest N and CTB in the hotel?
And a second question: my family will be contacted/ informed and they will be called to my body death recognition in the Hotel or in mortuary place?
Thanks
Hy my friend, :) I appreciate all of your answers! It means much to me. Just like you (did before), I prefer to die within nature, but yes, I can see why that is a risky idea... To me, it's the best option to have ultimate freedom. That might sound pathetic and overdramatic, but I would like to have this, only this one moment, where something in my life really feels at least a bit magical, releasing and empowering. I guess I also need this kind of scenery to overcome the SI and fulfil what needs to be fulfilled. This is the only thing I want it to be this way. Nobody knows for how long I might suffer terribly after a failed attempt, but I still could call someone there.
Hm... An alternative would be to find a hotel within nature, maybe a mostly natural setting within a private outside area, where you can still be all by yourself? I can hardly imagine how stressful it will be to find a place like that... But it HAS to be outside.
Thank you so much for letting us know about your set-up. Just like you, I will do everything to make clear that it has been suicide.
@willowisnotpillow
"I am an organ donor and I live 20-30+ minutes away from the nearest fire/police station or hospital. I will report myself dead right before entering full suspension so that my organs are still fresh, usable and can save the lives of someone who wants to live. I hope multiple people get to live a long and fulfilling life in my absence, I want to give this life I don't want to others."
May I ask, how you will do it? In my case, it's absolutely necessary to be found NOT to early, so I guess it won't be possible to time the discovery of the body in a way, where the organs can be reused. I wished I could safe someones life by donating my own, but it isn't legal sadly. It must be the greatest feeling to be a saviour, the hero whose life had REAL sense and meaning. It wouldn't feel wasted, I wished I could have that as well, but I don't know how without getting into trouble.
This is a general question but every case will have a different answer! First if you have a family they will search for you and find you unless your planning on hiding yourself so none can, second everyone knows about future emails so you can arrange for one to be sent out. So there is no one answer every suicide is different from the other every person have unique circumstance so none can tell you what to do you have to figure that out depending on your circumstances.
Good you ask, thanks!
I live completely isolated from everyone. I live alone in my appartment and I don't work. I cancelled contact to my friends 15 months ago, 7 years no contact to my brother and I haven't seen my mother for 8 months now. I isolated to make it a bit "easier" for them to get used to not having me around. It worked for all of them, except for my mother. She sends me messages twice a month, because she misses me. I hope that my absence at least helps a little bit, just a little. It was easier for her to overcome the death of her sister, because she hadnt seen her for 3 years. So who knows... I do what I can.
She will suffer terribly and I really fear, that she might have a heart attack with her 70 years. She is the only person I love and the only person, who loves me. Its important, that my brother and his family will be around when she gets to know. She will need all the support imaginable.
Thanks guys! I appreciate your help!
. Where I live, Indonesia, WA is the ONLY way people communicate so that's that's the ticket for me :). I have emails scheduled for 2 hours later for family in the US. Today's the day :)
