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i am so lainpilled :3 (? days left)
- Apr 15, 2023
- 259
I hate where I live right now. I should be happy since I don't have any bills or much expenses but I'm not. I live in a rural area with virtually no job or study opportunities and nothing to really do tbh. Commuting anywhere is already difficult with a car so you can imagine how rough it is without one. I left the city because sharing a home with my female bio parent proved to be insufferable. Although she's more tame these days, it's difficult to get over all of the abuse she subjected me to in my childhood so I decided to seek independence but now I am regretting it tbh\:
I had a job here but it was awful. Awful coworkers etc. I hate this fucking town. I hate living rurally tbh I wish I could go back but unfortunately I was born in one of the most expensive cities in the world so unless my unemployed self miraculously obtains millions of dollars, I can't move there alone. I can't even move to a larger town, everywhere is expensive. My parents originally got a 2 bedroom unit close to transport and the city 20+ years ago for between $200-300 a week but now you can barely even find shared housing for less than that.
I have lived in a shared accommodation situation before and whilst having my own room was nice, it made my anxiety go crazy and I often found myself avoiding the rest of the house other than my bedroom and the bathroom (used to order Uber Eats, live off snacks or just eat out) embarrassingly. Ideally I would rather just have a place to myself but the current situation is so demotivating tbh. Our bumbling politicians don't care about the working class (what else is new) so the prices of everything just continue to go up. All I want is to move back to the region I grew up in but it went from being a more humble, working class area to a "trendy, diverse neighbourhood with eclectic, multicultural eateries and cafés" (or whatever world salad garbage real estate companies use). I can't even afford to live in that city at all anyways let alone where I grew up unfortunately
I wish I could just say screw it and run off to another state but I have a hard time adjusting to change. I feel comfortable nowhere except where I grew up. I think I would be better off dead tbh. With how things are going, you can no longer be picky with where you live unless you make way above average but unfortunately if I'm not picky enough, my mental health suffers greatly and I find myself unable to participate in life as usual.
I feel like such an inferior weak specimen sometimes and deserve to be dead tbh. Stupid mentally ill brain. I had a job that could have potentially gotten me out of here but instead of just being normal and sucking it up, the mistreatment made me regress mentally (breakdowns and crying episodes thanks to cptsd) and now I have rather severe agoraphobia and don't leave the house unless I'm travelling to my home city (rare since I often feel too depressed to even get out of bed) and even then I feel stressed until I get to a "safe zone". It's all so dumb, someone just shoot me atp
I had a job here but it was awful. Awful coworkers etc. I hate this fucking town. I hate living rurally tbh I wish I could go back but unfortunately I was born in one of the most expensive cities in the world so unless my unemployed self miraculously obtains millions of dollars, I can't move there alone. I can't even move to a larger town, everywhere is expensive. My parents originally got a 2 bedroom unit close to transport and the city 20+ years ago for between $200-300 a week but now you can barely even find shared housing for less than that.
I have lived in a shared accommodation situation before and whilst having my own room was nice, it made my anxiety go crazy and I often found myself avoiding the rest of the house other than my bedroom and the bathroom (used to order Uber Eats, live off snacks or just eat out) embarrassingly. Ideally I would rather just have a place to myself but the current situation is so demotivating tbh. Our bumbling politicians don't care about the working class (what else is new) so the prices of everything just continue to go up. All I want is to move back to the region I grew up in but it went from being a more humble, working class area to a "trendy, diverse neighbourhood with eclectic, multicultural eateries and cafés" (or whatever world salad garbage real estate companies use). I can't even afford to live in that city at all anyways let alone where I grew up unfortunately
I wish I could just say screw it and run off to another state but I have a hard time adjusting to change. I feel comfortable nowhere except where I grew up. I think I would be better off dead tbh. With how things are going, you can no longer be picky with where you live unless you make way above average but unfortunately if I'm not picky enough, my mental health suffers greatly and I find myself unable to participate in life as usual.
I feel like such an inferior weak specimen sometimes and deserve to be dead tbh. Stupid mentally ill brain. I had a job that could have potentially gotten me out of here but instead of just being normal and sucking it up, the mistreatment made me regress mentally (breakdowns and crying episodes thanks to cptsd) and now I have rather severe agoraphobia and don't leave the house unless I'm travelling to my home city (rare since I often feel too depressed to even get out of bed) and even then I feel stressed until I get to a "safe zone". It's all so dumb, someone just shoot me atp
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