Relationship problems once again

[lekomania]

Hi, sorry, need to vent.
I wasn't active for a long time.

I got out of the toxic relationship that i posted about a year ago, only to end up in another one, where i wonder if it's healthy.

He doesn't hit me.
But sometimes he is extremely mean.
Says i provoked him.
We are in LDR.

Once again i feel like all my problems are starting with someone being in my life.

Once again i feel the need to use drugs to cope.
Or alcohol. My alcohol addiction wasn't that bad for a very long time.

Once again i don't know if i'm going to make it out alive.
And i have to, i have to do it for my bunnies. There are 4 of them now.
Nobody would take better care of them.

I think I make him miserable, and i think he makes me miserable too. But we are to afraid to admit it.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I've never been on a long term relationship so take what I say with a grain or 10 of salt.

It really seems, from what you said, that both of you are unhappy in this situation. To lessen the suffering of you both, it would be beneficial that this relationship is severed, or at the very least, rethought and changed.

Of course, I'm talking with what information you gave me, so maybe I'm missing something here that is important. Still, I always advocate for the lessening of suffering so I think this relationship should cease.

 

[lekomania]

I've never been on a long term relationship so take what I say with a grain or 10 of salt.

It really seems, from what you said, that both of you are unhappy in this situation. To lessen the suffering of you both, it would be beneficial that this relationship is severed, or at the very least, rethought and changed.

Of course, I'm talking with what information you gave me, so maybe I'm missing something here that is important. Still, I always advocate for the lessening of suffering so I think this relationship should cease.

Thank you for your response - i really feel alone in this situation. Sometimes i wonder if i have BPD - the symptoms worsen in a relationship. Always, when i told my therapists or doctors, that i'll kms if i have this disorder, their faces said it all. Now i have a new doctor and therapist, they're amazing, i don't think they suspect BPD, but i'm still scared.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Thank you for your response - i really feel alone in this situation. Sometimes i wonder if i have BPD - the symptoms worsen in a relationship. Always, when i told my therapists or doctors, that i'll kms if i have this disorder, their faces said it all. Now i have a new doctor and therapist, they're amazing, i don't think they suspect BPD, but i'm still scared.

BPD or not, feeling lonely when your partner is emotionally distant sounds about right either way. It is hard finding someone who genuinely cares, so I understand why you are in this situation.

Honestly, it's normal response to impending relationship problems. Don't feel like it's the end of the world. I have been diagnosed with BPD, but idk if I really have it, cause at the first appointment the doc made some questions and looked at my meds and just said "You have BPD" in my face, without I ever being diagnosed that otherwise.

That said, I have been in (Very short) relationships sometimes and it really feels you become more manic/depressive in that state. Rule of thumb of mine is: If a relationship worsens you, stop. You can only get better.

 

[lekomania]

BPD or not, feeling lonely when your partner is emotionally distant sounds about right either way. It is hard finding someone who genuinely cares, so I understand why you are in this situation.

Honestly, it's normal response to impending relationship problems. Don't feel like it's the end of the world. I have been diagnosed with BPD, but idk if I really have it, cause at the first appointment the doc made some questions and looked at my meds and just said "You have BPD" in my face, without I ever being diagnosed that otherwise.

That said, I have been in (Very short) relationships sometimes and it really feels you become more manic/depressive in that state. Rule of thumb of mine is: If a relationship worsens you, stop. You can only get better.

You are very smart, thank you:)

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

You are very smart, thank you:)

Thanks for the compliment. I try to help whenever possible.