Venting Relationship issues

[ilovenoodles]

okay so I posted this like a few minutes ago but accidentally deleted it but I've been dating this guy for over 2 years and I've loved him for over three, I genuinely thought he was going to be the one, I haven't been on this site in a hot minute and it was mainly because things felt better, especially with him in my life - apart from times we fought. He was the love of my life and I still love him so so much but last night he confessed to me he's non binary and bisexual, which shouldn't be a problem for most people but I have very traditional views and he's aware of that but I tried to brush past it and just support him so we could still be together but I guess that didn't work and he feels weird and wants to break up with me now. I really love him and I do want him to be the one because he's the only person I feel comfortable with and he knows me better than anyone else, he's mostly the only person I talk to despite us being long distance and I really don't want to lose him. The thought of starting over with someone new irks me too. We genuinely had plans to get married even tho I'm Muslim (explains the traditional views kinda) and he's Sikh (yes I know I shouldn't be dating anyways but I really love this man and assumed it was going to work out). I'm pretty sure he's set on breaking up now but I genuinely can't live without him as pathetic as it sounds, but I do want him to be happy. I'm sorry I know all of this sounds really selfish. Throughout all my attempts, he's been there for me but now I don't have him anymore and because of all that I've hit rock bottom again, I just want my baby back. I'm really considering ctb because I just wanted a future with him but now he won't be with me anymore so I don't see a point in living - I don't care about anything else I just wanted to marry him and have a cute family with him. I'm considering partial hanging or overdosing but I don't really have any anchor points and overdosing probably won't work anyways since I've tried it a few times with higher dosages each time. I just don't know what to do anymore I've been crying non stop, he was genuinely my everything. I don't have many friends or even ones I'm that close with nor do I have a good relationship with my family. It's also one of the most stressful years of my life with serious exams and things coming up soon, I can't do any of this anymore, I feel so pathetic. I'd rather just end it all now, but I'm afraid of the afterlife too. Maybe I'm being too emotional :( I think I'll breathe for a bit before finalising what method I'll be going with, I feel better kinda letting it all out. Also, he's been distant lately so I feel like the breakup was coming regardless of the whole current situation, I just don't know how things ended up like this :( sorry I just wanted to get everything off my chest, I just want him to love me again one last time before I ctb

 

[whybother2002]

If he loves you so much that he's willing to convert just to marry you, this shouldn't be an end all be all situation. I understand that you reacted in a way that made him uncomfortable, but you've shown that you're ready to support him. I see no problem with NB and bisexual people living a so-called traditional marriage. It's not because they're not straight that they can't fullfil customary roles and live a happy life. Would you "adapt" your traditional views? I think it's worth opening up with him one more time.

But if he understands that a further relationship with you will only hurt both parties, I'd agree that it's best to let go, even if there's so much love still. It must be so hard, I've never been in a relationship and sometimes I'm grateful for it. Sometimes I suffer without even getting to the relationship point, so I can only imagine someone who has spent 2 whole years with a person they love. It's hard, but if he thinks that he won't be able to fullfil your needs, it should end now rather than live a pathetic life. I'd still try, even with little hope.

You seem like you have so much love to give. I hope that you are able to give this love, with your boyfriend or anyone else (I know it seems impossible to think now, but my guess is that you weren't expecting it either when you first met him). Sending virtual hugs

 

[ilovenoodles]

If he loves you so much that he's willing to convert just to marry you, this shouldn't be an end all be all situation. I understand that you reacted in a way that made him uncomfortable, but you've shown that you're ready to support him. I see no problem with NB and bisexual people living a so-called traditional marriage. It's not because they're not straight that they can't fullfil customary roles and live a happy life. Would you "adapt" your traditional views? I think it's worth opening up with him one more time.

But if he understands that a further relationship with you will only hurt both parties, I'd agree that it's best to let go, even if there's so much love still. It must be so hard, I've never been in a relationship and sometimes I'm grateful for it. Sometimes I suffer without even getting to the relationship point, so I can only imagine someone who has spent 2 whole years with a person they love. It's hard, but if he thinks that he won't be able to fullfil your needs, it should end now rather than live a pathetic life. I'd still try, even with little hope.

You seem like you have so much love to give. I hope that you are able to give this love, with your boyfriend or anyone else (I know it seems impossible to think now, but my guess is that you weren't expecting it either when you first met him). Sending virtual hugs

you're genuinely sososo sweet for this, I really appreciate your words and advice. I'm willing to adapt my views but he seems pretty set on ending it, I'll try to open up to him one last time but I doubt it'll change his mind. Thank you thoughhhh I'll update you if anything happens !!