Story Relapse. Help.

[Tiedie]

I never really say much but tonight I need to type this out. I'm miserably depressed again and I just feel like coming out of my skin. I did drugs all this week. I'm not even a regular user except marijuana use. I can't even believe what all I've done this week. I'm stopping all that today. I've thought about self harm a few times today but didnt do it. I'm having very mild suicidal ideation, considering how bad it can be at times. I have an awesome career opportunity in Jan. I just need to hold on until then and def lay down the drugs. I was doing really well in recovery. Thanks for reading.

 

[Miss_Takes]

Hi ... Im sorry to hear youre having a hard time of it.
Im not entirely sure if youre wanting input or merely to vent so Im sending virtual hugs your way and hoping if you want to chat you will.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Depression is really difficult to deal with; I'm sorry to hear things have been so dreadful. It's good that you were able to stop yourself from self-harming. It can be a vicious cycle and is hard to stop once you start, or rekindle, the habit.

Try to not beat yourself up over the drugs. In my experience, the shame from doing the drug drives one to repeat the behavior in order to try and cope. Sounds like it's been a hell of a week and you may have made mistakes, but you want to stop and have a goal in mind. Remember the career opportunity, try to give yourself some grace, and see what steps you can take to stop the drugs.

If you need to vent, we're here. Maybe getting some things off your chest could help with that agitated feeling.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Do feel bad but know it has its limits,

I have gambling problems,
Addiction and relapse are tough on us when we feel overwhelmed or stressed constantly.

It is important to contain it as much as you can.

As you mentioned, you have hope coming in January,
Hang onto it like your life depend on it,
It will be the light in your life to guide you forward.

Stay strong brother/sister.
And refrain yourself from relapse as much as you can.
As you already know, they are not good for us in the long run.

Wishing you immense strength to overcome it!

 

[Pookie]

Relapses are common in recovery so don't be so hard on yourself. The important thing is that you recognise that you relapsed and aren't in denial about it. You're taking full responsibility for it and that takes courage. Now you can work on getting this relapse behind you and continue in your recovery. You may have future relapses but that doesn't make you weak or a horrible person. Just dust yourself off and try again.

 

[Ghost2211]

Relapse is normal, and not a bad thing. Reflect on your thoughts, and know your feelings are valid. Feeling bad about relapse make it harder on you. Take a breath and keep moving forward. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, but it's awesome you've resisted self harm urges.

 

[Flick]

Relapse is painful.
I can't imagine the position you're in as I've only had a tiny tiny glimpse in my own way.
I can understand the feeling of defeat at least.
You deserve a pat on the back for holding on, and resisting the urges.
Stay strong,
The community is here.

 

[Sherri]

Don't beat yourself up too much, I'm also an addict and have my relapses once in a while. Just stand up again and it's a new day, and forget about this week, one day at a time like they say about addiction.