love_peep
Specialist
- May 26, 2023
- 313
In general, I want to thank the person under the nickname @Ambivalent1.
for the book provided to me, although the book is not large, it made me think about many things.
After all, this book questioned me and did not turn my thinking about ctb much upside down.
As I read the book, I answered questions that I didn't always think about. For example, such as why you decided that ctb is a way out, who suggested this decision to you, and so on. I also realized that making ctb in this world is not as easy as it seems, although I knew it, but now I need more time to think about whether I should do it at all. On the other hand, all my problems and experiences, including depression, will disappear, but what will wake up people who believe in me, what will happen to my younger brother and what will happen to my best friend if I decide that I need ctb not slowly.
On the other hand, my life has turned into hell in the last couple of months, I'm no longer the guy who can self-develop 24/7 and think about the future. The only thing I lay last night and thought about what I should do, because I put myself in a very difficult situation. from debts and loans. I feel useless to society every day, I have a lot of knowledge, but I can't apply it, my brain is broken and I don't want to think about anything else but ctb.
Today I was supposed to go for a job interview, but I didn't do it either, simply because my brain was not up to it, on the other hand, a person who has never had severe clinical depression will say that supposedly that you just need to pull yourself together and go to work, but not everything is as simple as it seems in fact.
To be honest, I am saddened by myself and my condition, at the age of 19 I did not know that my life could turn out like this; in the most horrible way A lot of people told me that I need to pull myself together and go no matter what, but I don't feel the strength and motivation to do it. I think it takes me a few days to rethink myself a little bit about ctb and read some more similar books. I am sad that a person suffers and feels in this world as in a real hell. I love each and every one of you, but I can't love myself. I have my own psychologist and antidepressants and a prescription from a psychiatric hospital for other antidepressants, I don't know yet how to deal with apathy, except to sit on social networks all day and try to communicate with someone, but this does not always help, to be honest.
In general, I don't know what else to say yet, but thank you all for your support on this forum
Special thanks: @Ambivalent1 for the book provided and @befree for providing individual resources.
for the book provided to me, although the book is not large, it made me think about many things.
After all, this book questioned me and did not turn my thinking about ctb much upside down.
As I read the book, I answered questions that I didn't always think about. For example, such as why you decided that ctb is a way out, who suggested this decision to you, and so on. I also realized that making ctb in this world is not as easy as it seems, although I knew it, but now I need more time to think about whether I should do it at all. On the other hand, all my problems and experiences, including depression, will disappear, but what will wake up people who believe in me, what will happen to my younger brother and what will happen to my best friend if I decide that I need ctb not slowly.
On the other hand, my life has turned into hell in the last couple of months, I'm no longer the guy who can self-develop 24/7 and think about the future. The only thing I lay last night and thought about what I should do, because I put myself in a very difficult situation. from debts and loans. I feel useless to society every day, I have a lot of knowledge, but I can't apply it, my brain is broken and I don't want to think about anything else but ctb.
Today I was supposed to go for a job interview, but I didn't do it either, simply because my brain was not up to it, on the other hand, a person who has never had severe clinical depression will say that supposedly that you just need to pull yourself together and go to work, but not everything is as simple as it seems in fact.
To be honest, I am saddened by myself and my condition, at the age of 19 I did not know that my life could turn out like this; in the most horrible way A lot of people told me that I need to pull myself together and go no matter what, but I don't feel the strength and motivation to do it. I think it takes me a few days to rethink myself a little bit about ctb and read some more similar books. I am sad that a person suffers and feels in this world as in a real hell. I love each and every one of you, but I can't love myself. I have my own psychologist and antidepressants and a prescription from a psychiatric hospital for other antidepressants, I don't know yet how to deal with apathy, except to sit on social networks all day and try to communicate with someone, but this does not always help, to be honest.
In general, I don't know what else to say yet, but thank you all for your support on this forum
Special thanks: @Ambivalent1 for the book provided and @befree for providing individual resources.
