Discussion Reevaluating “Sunk Costs” in Recovery

[ladidaok]

I don't know if this necessarily belongs here— and I should probably go to bed— but I had a thought.

I feel like one of my main psychological hurdles in CTBing is letting all the progress I've made "go to waste.

I spent a decade in therapy, and made a ton of progress— which many people who saw me during that process commended me for.


That said, I'm far from happy— in many ways, I feel more miserable than ever nowadays because I finally understand my problems, yet don't feel I can realistically do anything to solve them.

Anyway, I feel like the core of what I'm getting at relates to what's referred to as the sunk-cost fallacy.

I think it's hard for me in many senses to accept that I spent a decade in therapy— and actually made huge gains— yet come to terms with the fact it's still best for me to cut my losses, if you will.

In other words, I've been gradually accepting that the sunk costs (and gains) ultimately do not matter— or at least are far outweighed by the prospect of no longer suffering.

The sunk-cost fallacy usually is used in reference to less serious matters (i.e., not death and suicide).

So I haven't been able to explore this idea elsewhere.

I'm sure I'm not alone in terms of this line of thinking, but I still thought it would be interesting to share and hear others' perspectives

Thanks for reading!

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

That's an interesting take. The truth is, all our lives are sunk costs. We go through all things and do all this just to die, and to have no say in that. I still believe that life is the goal and the joy, and it's never really a sunk cost. But not everyone shares that view.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

If I may ask, how did you live while having greater suffering before? Conversely, why do you find it unbearable now? You said you made many gains, so I assumed that meant in happiness, but correct me if I'm wrong.

I don't think the goal of therapy has to be happiness. You could have decided that your goal in therapy was better understanding for whether it is viable to not suffer in life--and that you just got your answer. The sunk cost is resolved if you think about it in that way.

I do suggest you bring it up to your therapist (or a work coach or friend is even better) that you don't see any solution to your problems and see if they can help. I've found that sometimes you can rely on others to alleviate struggles.

 

[sanction]

That's exactly one of the biggest traps of life

We invest all this endless effort to build our lives forward, instead resulting in it draining all our energy and soul. Then as we want to give up, it also traps us into staying

Life is such a fucking torture. It's like... We can't afford to not put effort, but at the same time, putting effort is so damn challenging

And what's even more pointless, is no matter what we do, or how hard we try, we will still end up dying either way

Either way we are fucked

We are truly stuck in hell. This existence is such a curse and torture