Recovery Reservations

[Cloud Busting]

I am aghast over the amount of suffering in this world to the point of exhaustion. If I were able to liberate myself from suffering, or at the very least cope with my suffering, it would feel undeserved knowing others are still struggling. To recover knowing others can't just feels… wrong. And it feels smug somehow, but I guess I've seen people get very self righteous about recovery and so I suppose that's my bias.

The only way I can think to reframe it is that suffering individually adds to it collectively, so to not suffer is actual a net benefit for the greater good, but of course I doubt. Is that just what I tell myself to assuage guilt?

This is a disorganized, freely associated jumble. Any thoughts?

Edit: I suppose what I'm trying to say is there is much inequality in the world. To recover when others can't just feels like reinforcing inequality and I feel helpless to make this world equitable

 

[Namelesa]

Personally just cus there are a lot of people who are suffering who can't recover, doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to recover. Sure they also do deserve to be able to recover (if it that what they want) but cus they are unable to doesn't mean you don't deserve it. That's like if there is a bunch of starving people but only a few can be feed, doesn't mean you shouldn't feed the ones you can just cus the others won't be fed.

 

[Dot]

Wld u hve wantd othr ppl nt 2 recvr whn u wre suffrng @ ur wrst

U d/ nt owe suffrng t/ n.e1 - & th/ mre heald ppl in th/ wrld wll mke th/ wrld a bettr plce

 

[-Link-]

I suppose what I'm trying to say is there is much inequality in the world. To recover when others can't just feels like reinforcing inequality and I feel helpless to make this world equitable

I think you'd do well to give yourself permission to recover just for your own sake, but if you feel like some kind of harm would result from that, then maybe there's a way you could make up for it that would allow you to make peace with your recovery.

As an example, you could look at making it a goal of your "recovered self" to go out into the world and help others. Paying it forward. You won't be able to fix the world's problems, but even if you help just one person, that matters. This is the difference between "fixing everything" and "helping with something". It might seem small or even meaningless, but what would the world be if nobody supported each other? Every little bit counts.

 

[EternalShore]

I think that it would be good for you to recover~ :) It doesn't make you a bad person to recover when many others' can't~ In fact, once you do recover, you can remember how you felt when you were in our spots and then spread love and be helpful to those who are still downtrodden and in despair with empathy and understanding~ :)

 

[Cloud Busting]

I think that it would be good for you to recover~ :) It doesn't make you a bad person to recover when many others' can't~ In fact, once you do recover, you can remember how you felt when you were in our spots and then spread love and be helpful to those who are still downtrodden and in despair with empathy and understanding~ :)

I think this is what I fear; becoming privileged and forgetting what it is like to struggle or suffer. I've seen it so many times! Like suicide survivors who preach pro life (which is different from recovery imo) or those smug ex addicts and smokers and stuff. Preachy, "I got better so you can too!" types that victim blame and all that when others don't get better, and judge people for their habits and act so sanctimonious

A figure I admire is Dolly Parton. She is a rare rags to riches story who never, ever forgot where she came from and honors it. She never distanced herself from her ancestors. She does a lot to help people in poverty and remained humble rather than out of touch. She doesn't disparage the poor now that she's made it. She's just lovely and the energy I wish to channel.

Do you know of any ways to ensure I never forget what it's like to suffer?

 

[EternalShore]

I think this is what I fear; becoming privileged and forgetting what it is like to struggle or suffer. I've seen it so many times! Like suicide survivors who preach pro life (which is different from recovery imo) or those smug ex addicts and smokers and stuff. Preachy, "I got better so you can too!" types that victim blame and all that when others don't get better, and judge people for their habits and act so sanctimonious

A figure I admire is Dolly Parton. She is a rare rags to riches story who never, ever forgot where she came from and honors it. She never distanced herself from her ancestors. She does a lot to help people in poverty and remained humble rather than out of touch. She doesn't disparage the poor now that she's made it. She's just lovely and the energy I wish to channel.

Do you know of any ways to ensure I never forget what it's like to suffer?

yeahhh~ :( A lot of the times it can be like~ "I got better [lucky], so you can too!" even tho, unfortunately, not everyone can blessed like that unfortunately! :(
ahh, I heard of Dolly Parton, but not that she was wonderful and good-natured like that~ :) that's amazing ^_^
I mean, I think that still being around and there for those who are suffering and their concerns would help a lot with that~ :) so that you could empathize with them actively and stay updated with their concerns~ :) additionally, just being kind to everyone does too~ ^_^

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I know how it is to want to recover but feel bad about others not recovering. I feel like I'll just become privileged and I would hate that to the core of my soul, because I know how it is to suffer, and it shouldn't be a privilege to enjoy life.

 

[Cloud Busting]

yeahhh~ :( A lot of the times it can be like~ "I got better [lucky], so you can too!" even tho, unfortunately, not everyone can blessed like that unfortunately!

Yeah I recently read this book called The Midnight Library and the author apparently had been suicidal and depressed before, but it seemed like he lost insight on that state of mind due to the simplistic conclusion that doesn't mirror reality at all. I hope I never fall into platitudes like that if I fully recover, even if many opining such sentiment often have good intentions. It really truly is why I fear recovery so I'm glad you responded cuz this never occurred to me before.

ahh, I heard of Dolly Parton, but not that she was wonderful and good-natured like that~ :) that's amazing ^_^

One of her charities!

I also recommend her song Coat of Many Colors. It's a wonderful homage to her childhood.

I mean I'm sure there's dirt on her and that she's not perfect but something about her feels sincere rather than self-serving and exploitative like Mr Beast or whatever.

I mean, I think that still being around and there for those who are suffering and their concerns would help a lot with that~ :) so that you could empathize with them actively and stay updated with their concerns~ :) additionally, just being kind to everyone does too~ ^_^

I think that's a good idea and it is partially why I have stayed here despite no longer being actively suicidal. I also should probably read the bell jar once a year since it's the most accurate depiction of depression I know of LOL

I think listening and refraining from projecting is the best I can do. I may wish people to not suffer, but in no way do I want to invalidate their suffering or act like they shouldn't be suffering or whatever. I think ensuring Im being humble over selfish and not making others problems about myself or my or society's ideals is a goal to strive for. Or acting like I'm better than them for not struggling, treating them like my equal, and not in a condescending, pitying, "if only they followed my path" kinda way. I also wanna avoid turning into a savior or a martyr cuz sometimes we only help to boost our own egos and not for the greater good. I guess I'm afraid of exploitation, so I like to suffer cuz it's often rooted in my own exploitation? So I feel less like I'm taking advantage of others when I'm being harmed? Idk I'm excessively navel-gazing here

I appreciate your comment very much.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

I am aghast over the amount of suffering in this world to the point of exhaustion. If I were able to liberate myself from suffering, or at the very least cope with my suffering, it would feel undeserved knowing others are still struggling. To recover knowing others can't just feels… wrong. And it feels smug somehow, but I guess I've seen people get very self righteous about recovery and so I suppose that's my bias.

The only way I can think to reframe it is that suffering individually adds to it collectively, so to not suffer is actual a net benefit for the greater good, but of course I doubt. Is that just what I tell myself to assuage guilt?

This is a disorganized, freely associated jumble. Any thoughts?

Edit: I suppose what I'm trying to say is there is much inequality in the world. To recover when others can't just feels like reinforcing inequality and I feel helpless to make this world equitable

Try to see it in this light. If you're able to recover, you might be able to help somebody else recover, and they then can help another recover. The more people who can individually recover, the more we can collectively recover. As fractured and torn apart as society is, the word "social" is a fundamental part of it, and if we can't help each other socially then we'll tear each other apart socially, which sadly is our status quo. The phrase "be the change you want to see in the world" comes to mind.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I know how it is to want to recover but feel bad about others not recovering. I feel like I'll just become privileged and I would hate that to the core of my soul, because I know how it is to suffer, and it shouldn't be a privilege to enjoy life.

I absolutely agree with you on feeling like recovering would be a catalyst for privilege, and I agree that it shouldn't be a privilege to enjoy life, but unfortunately it is under this capitalist and hierarchal world. Life is so unfair, and it makes me wanna die as I feel powerless to change it, but then again dying kinda feels like making the system win. But then again recovering makes me feel so fucking guilty, so it's quite the conundrum.

I'm so glad you understand what I mean.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I absolutely agree with you on feeling like recovering would be a catalyst for privilege, and I agree that it shouldn't be a privilege to enjoy life, but unfortunately it is under this capitalist and hierarchal world. Life is so unfair, and it makes me wanna die as I feel powerless to change it, but then again dying kinda feels like making the system win. But then again recovering makes me feel so fucking guilty, so it's quite the conundrum.

I'm so glad you understand what I mean.

I do, and even then I think you should accept things that help you recover. I feel that if anyone would be worth of that, would be the ones that suffer the most. You can try your best to help others afterwards.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I do, and even then I think you should accept things that help you recover. I feel that if anyone would be worth of that, would be the ones that suffer the most. You can try your best to help others afterwards.

I also think you're worth recovering, just like everyone else here.

It's so easy to be compassionate to others yet much harder to be compassionate to yourself lol

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I also think you're worth recovering, just like everyone else here.

It's so easy to be compassionate to others yet much harder to be compassionate to yourself lol

Eh, I know, I'm just lazy as fuck hahaha. Thanks for the reassurement though, you're a good person, mister dude.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Eh, I know, I'm just lazy as fuck hahaha. Thanks for the reassurement though, you're a good person, mister dude.

Why are you lazy?

Call me naive but I don't think anyone is naturally idle

 

[The Morningstar]

"You can't pour from an empty cup."
Hell knows I've tried. Sometimes, in hindsight, I wonder if it was more of my own weird way to self-harm.
But I think it's more efficient to help people after you've helped yourself and to feel good about it while you do it, rather than to ignore yourself and help others while it hurts you until it kills you.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Why are you lazy?

Call me naive but I don't think anyone is naturally idle

I don't have the energy. I use it all to actually maintain my current life. You can't invest if you use all the money to survive, so to speak.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I don't have the energy. I use it all to actually maintain my current life. You can't invest if you use all the money to survive, so to speak.

Living from paycheck to paycheck is rough it's absolutely understandable you lack energy

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Living from paycheck to paycheck is rough it's absolutely understandable you lack energy

Thanks for being understandable. I'm sick of people saying I should just do X or Y when in fact I'm locked in a situation that if I ever try to get out, major pain would occour, and I don't think I have any more space for that.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Thanks for being understandable. I'm sick of people saying I should just do X or Y when in fact I'm locked in a situation that if I ever try to get out, major pain would occour, and I don't think I have any more space for that.

Why would pain occur? Feel free to not respond if you're uncomfortable elaborating

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. So many people want to make systemic or societal problems an individual or moral one. I guess that's the problem with a meritocratic, neoliberal, pull yourself by your bootstraps mentality that's common in this modern age

 

[Dot]

Guss 1 questn wrth askng = 'wht benfit wld actlly cme frm u nt recovrng'

 

[Cloud Busting]

Guss 1 questn wrth askng = 'wht benfit wld actlly cme frm u nt recovrng'

The only thing I can think of is it would prevent me from turning into a pretentious asshole who acts holier than thou over others or tries to 'help' people in the way a colonizer would under the guise of Christian missionary work.

As an example I've heard people talk about recovery warriors in the context of addiction and that scares me, like am I becoming one of those? Honestly getting sober has felt like such a betrayal to others who still use and I still kinda miss my old friends lol sometimes people who still use kinda resent you for quitting

Aside from that honestly no not really, and I'd say the consequences of not recovering are far worse.

Thank you for the kind words in your precious post they made me think

 

[Dot]

The only thing I can think of is it would prevent me from turning into a pretentious asshole who acts holier than thou over others or tries to 'help' people in the way a colonizer would under the guise of Christian missionary work.

As an example I've heard people talk about recovery warriors in the context of addiction and that scares me, like am I becoming one of those? Honestly getting sober has felt like such a betrayal to others who still use and I still kinda miss my old friends lol sometimes people who still use kinda resent you for quitting

Aside from that honestly no not really, and I'd say the consequences of not recovering are far worse.

Thank you for the kind words in your precious post they made me think

Ur cmmnt alrdy sggsts tht u hve 2 mch Mpathy t/ bcme tht - ppl wh/ suddnly strt preachng imo hve lttle slf-awrenss & prbbly hve mre recvry wrk t/ finsh thn thy thnk

Imo jst kp a nte smewhre of u remindng ur futre slf wht u wnt 2 b & nt wnt 2 b

Also u cnnt hlp ppl resntng u - thy r mre jst frstr8td @ whre thy r in thr own lfe & tht = nt ur rsponsblty

 

[Cloud Busting]

Also u cnnt hlp ppl resntng u - thy r mre jst frstr8td @ whre thy r in thr own lfe & tht = nt ur rsponsblty

I have a bad habit of taking too much responsibility for things