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T

ThatStateOfMind

Elementalist
Nov 13, 2021
851
I'm finally feeling some sense of a recovery after a bad breakup in December (it was amicable, but she cheated and I felt crushed for months, so it is bad in that aspect).

Since, I've began working on myself. I now workout more, not for results, more so for the endorphins and the feeling of it. I also have been trying to learn songs on piano, I found a cheap organ from the 1970s at a yard sale. It was old and some of it doesn't work but I can still learn some songs on it and I've been doing so.

Why I suddenly feel like I'm recovering is I was able to look at a photo of her and feel nothing, no pain, no emotions, no longing for her as I used to do. It's an odd sensation but I'm happy because maybe this progress will continue and i won't feel a lot of pain for much longer.

I can say with 80% certainty (probably used to be 20%) that if she came back asking for me back, I would say no. I don't deserve to be hurt the way she hurt me.

I'm on a road to a better life for my self and this is just a minor step, but it feels like the right direction so I wanted to tell people, and I genuinely enjoy posting here, because I feel like people here truly understand my point of view.
 
UsagiDrop

UsagiDrop

“What a beautiful day to haunt the earth.”
Apr 27, 2023
299
I think I've read some posts and threads from you where you've referenced this breakup, so while I don't know the whole story, I'm really happy to hear an update like this. It's always a great feeling to wake up one day and realize that you're a little closer to recovering from someone you thought broke you beyond the point of fixing. I really hope that you can continue to piece together the broken parts of yourself until you feel whole again. It may be a minor step, but every step toward a more comfortable existence while we're here really does count. If nobody else has told you, I'm very proud of your progress. You're doing well!

I can say with 80% certainty (probably used to be 20%) that if she came back asking for me back, I would say no. I don't deserve to be hurt the way she hurt me.
I would also like to add that along with you not deserving to be hurt, she doesn't deserve even the chance to have the kind of access to you that she used to have. Cheaters deserve nothing at all imo.

Good luck in your journey!
 
T

ThatStateOfMind

Elementalist
Nov 13, 2021
851
I think I've read some posts and threads from you where you've referenced this breakup, so while I don't know the whole story, I'm really happy to hear an update like this. It's always a great feeling to wake up one day and realize that you're a little closer to recovering from someone you thought broke you beyond the point of fixing. I really hope that you can continue to piece together the broken parts of yourself until you feel whole again. It may be a minor step, but every step toward a more comfortable existence while we're here really does count. If nobody else has told you, I'm very proud of your progress. You're doing well!


I would also like to add that along with you not deserving to be hurt, she doesn't deserve even the chance to have the kind of access to you that she used to have. Cheaters deserve nothing at all imo.

Good luck in your journey!
Yeah, maybe I should make a thread detailing the whole story so I don't confuse people, it's broken up into many threads because I kept learning new things about it so I might just spend some time and make a post about it. I only haven't because I feel like it's all I ever talk about here but this is only place I feel comfortable talking about it.

And I wish her well, but i will not allow myself to be used or manipulated again.

Thanks!

Also, if I make that post, I'll link it here.
 
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L

LaVieEnRose

Illuminated
Jul 23, 2022
3,663
That's great! You deserve a better state of mind than what you had been stuck in! You seem like a quality guy and at your young age, this experience doesn't have to dominate the rest of your life, romantic and otherwise.
 
Bleedingheartbeat

Bleedingheartbeat

One day at a time 🌻
May 12, 2023
41
As someone who suffered a bad break up in December too.. this made me so happy to read. Keep up the good work, you deserve to be happy!
 
T

ThatStateOfMind

Elementalist
Nov 13, 2021
851
That's great! You deserve a better state of mind than what you had been stuck in! You seem like a quality guy and at your young age, this experience doesn't have to dominate the rest of your life, romantic and otherwise.
Thank you so much! It actually means a lot. It's definitely had a stronghold on my life for the past few months but I'm finally beginning to let go, or attempt to.
As someone who suffered a bad break up in December too.. this made me so happy to read. Keep up the good work, you deserve to be happy!
I'm sorry you had a bad break up, it happening in December ruined festivities that month for me, Christmas and New Years were virtually non-existent for me. Contemplated taking my own life on New Years but my mom kept me around and wanted me to celebrate with her (she knew I was taking the breakup hard).

That being said, you deserve happiness too, my friend. I hope we both find it some day.
I think I've read some posts and threads from you where you've referenced this breakup, so while I don't know the whole story, I'm really happy to hear an update like this. It's always a great feeling to wake up one day and realize that you're a little closer to recovering from someone you thought broke you beyond the point of fixing. I really hope that you can continue to piece together the broken parts of yourself until you feel whole again. It may be a minor step, but every step toward a more comfortable existence while we're here really does count. If nobody else has told you, I'm very proud of your progress. You're doing well!


I would also like to add that along with you not deserving to be hurt, she doesn't deserve even the chance to have the kind of access to you that she used to have. Cheaters deserve nothing at all imo.

Good luck in your journey!
Hello, I made the post about my breakup, and hopefully if you decide to read it, it will clarify anything or help you understand! :)
 
Last edited:
T

ThatStateOfMind

Elementalist
Nov 13, 2021
851
Just a little update, I also wanted to say I've barely been messaging her, only responding when she messages me. I feel like this is a good decision on my part.

Also, my college intro to psychology class began today. It's a condensed class, it takes 10 days from start to finish, covers 4 modules, each module has 3 chapters.

The assignments will be 4 short essay-like assignments, one of which I've completed. There's 4 tests covering each module, and a presentation at the end. I don't know much about that assignment yet, but it appears it will be over a topic of our choice. There's also extra credit in the grade book but that hasn't been discussed yet.
 
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strigoi

strigoi

Member
Apr 29, 2023
38
I read your story, and I'm glad you're on the mend.

I'm going through something similar to what you've been through, and it's been tearing me apart.

I hope I have the same strength as you to go through this situation.
 
T

ThatStateOfMind

Elementalist
Nov 13, 2021
851
I read your story, and I'm glad you're on the mend.

I'm going through something similar to what you've been through, and it's been tearing me apart.

I hope I have the same strength as you to go through this situation.
It gets better with time, trust me on that. It may take a while but you'll heal slowly but surely. And, if you need anyone to talk to, you can always start a private conversation with me. I hope you start feeling better soon and try to keep your head up :)
 
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StaticCryBabye

StaticCryBabye

Sorrowful Pixel
Apr 9, 2023
158
It's fantastic to hear that you're finally moving forward after that messy breakup. Cheating is a low blow, and you deserve way better than someone who would betray your trust. It's empowering to see that you're working on yourself and finding happiness in new pursuits. Hitting the gym for those sweet endorphins and tinkering on that vintage organ, even with its quirks, shows your determination to find joy in life. And let me tell you, feeling nothing when you see her photo is a major power move. You're rising above the pain and reclaiming your own worth. Remember, you hold the power to say no if she ever tries to crawl back. You're on the right track, my friend, and don't hesitate to share your victories with people who get it.
 
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T

ThatStateOfMind

Elementalist
Nov 13, 2021
851
It's fantastic to hear that you're finally moving forward after that messy breakup. Cheating is a low blow, and you deserve way better than someone who would betray your trust. It's empowering to see that you're working on yourself and finding happiness in new pursuits. Hitting the gym for those sweet endorphins and tinkering on that vintage organ, even with its quirks, shows your determination to find joy in life. And let me tell you, feeling nothing when you see her photo is a major power move. You're rising above the pain and reclaiming your own worth. Remember, you hold the power to say no if she ever tries to crawl back. You're on the right track, my friend, and don't hesitate to share your victories with people who get it.
Thanks, it feels pretty good. College has kept me very occupied so I've cut down a bit on working out but I've kept trying to squeeze some piano in. Doing some for the first time in about a week today. Only sucks because it's very limited and doesn't have many keys so chord progression songs are practically impossible. I still have fun learning little songs key by key though. Maybe I should try and squeeze a workout in for my scrawny ass every now and then though haha
 
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P

PrisonBreak

Student
Oct 29, 2021
122
Congratulations. I'm happy for you. Please guard your heart and take good care of yourself. ❤️
 
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someone.somewhere

someone.somewhere

Member
May 20, 2023
14
Also had a bad breakup in December..
I'm not doing so good just yet, but reading your post made me really happy for you and motivated!

Glad you found things that aid you in recovery,
Keep working hard for yourself!
 
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EmpathyMinded

EmpathyMinded

Student
May 1, 2023
138
I'm finally feeling some sense of a recovery after a bad breakup in December (it was amicable, but she cheated and I felt crushed for months, so it is bad in that aspect).

Since, I've began working on myself. I now workout more, not for results, more so for the endorphins and the feeling of it. I also have been trying to learn songs on piano, I found a cheap organ from the 1970s at a yard sale. It was old and some of it doesn't work but I can still learn some songs on it and I've been doing so.

Why I suddenly feel like I'm recovering is I was able to look at a photo of her and feel nothing, no pain, no emotions, no longing for her as I used to do. It's an odd sensation but I'm happy because maybe this progress will continue and i won't feel a lot of pain for much longer.

I can say with 80% certainty (probably used to be 20%) that if she came back asking for me back, I would say no. I don't deserve to be hurt the way she hurt me.

I'm on a road to a better life for my self and this is just a minor step, but it feels like the right direction so I wanted to tell people, and I genuinely enjoy posting here, because I feel like people here truly understand my point of view.
This is great to hear. What you mentioned about that photo is indeed a great sign of where you are at internally. Keep focusing on yourself like this and when the time comes for a new person in your life it'll be someone attracted to the sight of this better, happier you. You want someone that respects and validates that version of yourself.
 
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T

ThatStateOfMind

Elementalist
Nov 13, 2021
851
Congratulations. I'm happy for you. Please guard your heart and take good care of yourself. ❤️
Thanks, I will try!
Also had a bad breakup in December..
I'm not doing so good just yet, but reading your post made me really happy for you and motivated!

Glad you found things that aid you in recovery,
Keep working hard for yourself!
I hope you can find peace and be happy soon, I read somewhere that most breakups happen in December, so much for a festive month, I guess haha.
This is great to hear. What you mentioned about that photo is indeed a great sign of where you are at internally. Keep focusing on yourself like this and when the time comes for a new person in your life it'll be someone attracted to the sight of this better, happier you. You want someone that respects and validates that version of yourself.
Yeah, I guess my only fear is, if she came back asking for me back, I don't know if I could say no, I don't know if I have the willpower yet. It's a scary thought for me
 
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silence of death

silence of death

Member
May 20, 2023
58
i think the best way to recover is time, and talk about it, the more you talk about the break up, the less painful it is, and time of course, you need to reach a point where thinking about it doesn't hurt anymore, it can take years but hey.. that's how i got trough it, i do think i should have talked about it more
 
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quietly_gone

quietly_gone

𝒔𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒏𝒊𝒌 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 🪐
May 9, 2023
56
I'm happy for you, you're doing the right thing by venting and talking about your breakup whenever you can. My own relationship was so messy that it took me a whole year to have the courage to ever mention it even happening to my friends. As soon as I did, though, it made me realize how I should have done it sooner or at least just tried discussing it with people like what you're doing in here. I really admire you for that. It's hard but keep up the work!
 
T

ThatStateOfMind

Elementalist
Nov 13, 2021
851
I'm happy for you, you're doing the right thing by venting and talking about your breakup whenever you can. My own relationship was so messy that it took me a whole year to have the courage to ever mention it even happening to my friends. As soon as I did, though, it made me realize how I should have done it sooner or at least just tried discussing it with people like what you're doing in here. I really admire you for that. It's hard but keep up the work!
Thanks, venting here helps a lot for me personally. Otherwise, I'd probably keep everything suppressed or something.
 

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