Discussion Reassuring

[iwashere]

I'm currently out at the bars right now and i'm drunk as hell! and the thought "i want to shoot mtself in the head" jus cake across. im not sure if this makes sense, but im so happy that even in the moments you're supposed to feel "happy" and "in company", i still have thoughts of driving to a parking lot and shooting myself in the head!! so strong in fact i genuinely thought to take a photo inside the bar to show the vast contrast— in an environment that would usually uplift me; make me feel alive or rejuvenated, if falling flat and yet again showing me that there is nothing here i'm that i'll miss out on if i leave

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've also experienced the sense of finding ideation reassuring- even in better moments. Because- it proves to myself I suppose- that this is in fact how I truly feel. The happiest I ever got was a feeling that- although I felt better in that moment, I would still be ok with dying then.

 

[iwashere]

I've also experienced the sense of finding ideation reassuring- even in better moments. Because- it proves to myself I suppose- that this is in fact how I truly feel. The happiest I ever got was a feeling that- although I felt better in that moment, I would still be ok with dying then.

exactly. and it's moments that i'm surrounded w the most love, the most people and the most interaction iccold ever imagine, and regardless i still feel so excited and happy that im so much closer to reaching my goal? if that makes sense