Reasons you wanna die vs reasons you don’t. What stops you?

[sheepgirl]

Reasons I want to die:
My mental illness especially crippling anxiety and mood issues
My eating disorder
The way the world is in general - don't understand it
Struggles with people
Autism
The fact I'm nearly 23 and have never been able to manage study or working due to my difficulties
The amount of suffering in general in the world - especially towards animals
And more

Reasons I don't wanna die:
I don't want to break my family especially my parents. I'm almost all my mum and dad have (they are separated). My sister already died so if I die they'll only have my older brother.
Fear of afterlife
The idea of how my death would affect people I know
I get a lot of support from services and I feel sad that my death would hurt some of the people I see
I wish I could be happy. If I could I would. Part of me hopes one day life might be okay. There are things that make me really happy.

 

[LunaXCBN]

Reasons I do:
- I don't want to live 80 years on a planet this shit
- I fucking hate everyone on this piece of shit earth, they've ruined me
- I've completely lost hope for recovery at this point, I don't trust therapy and don't think it would help me anyway due to my stubborness.
- I can't trust anyone, because of how I've been treated by people I held close
- I'm extremely depressed and feel like I'm going more insane day by day

Reasons I don't:
- I have goals that I want to reach before I CTB
- I have someone I want to meet one day
- There might still be a little bit of hope left in me

I don't fear death, not at all. I accepted it as part of life years ago, but I still want to get my stuff done.
But I also don't want to live amongst these fucking animals, tough conflict.

 

[lionetta12]

Im not afraid by any means. I make a lot of people happy with my music. Even this guy at the house I live in listens to my music. He's been really going thru it and has been blasting it lately. He baught a tapestry off my website and a lot of people wear my stuff in support.super young kids at the fair and in town see me point me out it's pretty cool actually. But what's fucked up is that the pain I put into the music isn't fun too me. It's actually really sad. And too know that my music could help someone through a situation is relieving but. In order for me to help I have to suffer. And it hurts. I think I have BPD. I've been told by my girlfriend and a close friend who has it and autism I show hella traits.
And everyday in my head really does suck. I hate it here.
I just wanna go back to being a nobody. Everyone knows who I am but I don't know anyone. And it seems other people know me better than I know myself.
It's also a reason I wanna stay. Because I love these people.
I hate myself and constantly am reminded of why and my heads so immediately negative. I'm gonna Ctb Impulsivley I assume. Much love peeps

I have many reasons to CTB such as trauma, treatment not helping me improve after over a decade, harassment, and so on. I don't really have any real reasons to stay alive but I'm naturally a very optimistic person and I'm very patient for some reason too, maybe too much for my own good at times, but those are the main two reasons for me choosing to stay alive right now.

 

[downndone2]

I want to live for my grown kids and dogs. Everything else makes me want to die

 

[Escapee]

Can't endure my suffering but can't find reliable method.