I don't want to get into this again but I'm going to anyway. Some of the nicest people I've met here are parents because it generally makes people better since they're no longer the most important person in their life. I say this as someone who's parents were fucking useless however. I don't resent them for having me though. I liked my life up to a point. I wouldn't want kids because I don't want the responsibility which I suspect is many others reason to. Those that do more power to them. Who the fuck am I or any of us to be looking down our noses as morally superior? Ask yourself what you've contributed to the world. What others do is none of our business unless it directly impedes on our own lives which it does not
Did you mean parents on SS or in general?
It's just strange because I've had the opposite experience, some of the nastiest and most narcissistic individuals I have ever met were parents (not much on here though).
It generally made them more selfish if anything, they just channeled it through their child, used their child as a prop to make them both of some superior importance to others. Very myopic, very inconsiderate of anyone
but their child, or their own selves.
Easily afflicted with narrow-mindedness, and the individuality is sucked right out of them, if it wasn't already from being a couple.
The majority of people I have known before they were parents..who then became parents, well, the after was markedly less bearable than the before.
People can become absolutely insufferable.
Especially when their children are still small and they see them as an extension of themselves.
And it all makes sense really, considering I have yet to hear of an (honest) unselfish reason for choosing to procreate.
Have you ever stumbled upon a Mommy FB group?
It's a fucking minefield.
(Don't get me wrong, Dads aren't rainbows and sunshine either.)
Not to say there aren't decent people who are parents or those who came to the conclusion-even if too late-that it may have been a morally dubious thing to do, or a coerced decision. Not all parents will defend their own decision once they give it deeper thought, I appreciate those types of parents. It doesn't mean they have to regret their actual children, it's just a matter of hindsight.
Idk about anyone else, but I'm not the most important person in anyone's life regardless of children or not, and plenty of parents are the center of their own universe, always and forever. Some here are the result of that, and much more. I've learned more than enough humility for one lifetime, any self-centeredness remaining would be an essential consequence of being in an unfortunate position for an extended period of time with only one's self around to give a damn, but nothing that would suggest a lack of niceties toward others.
I think we, as (adult) children,
are the ones who
do deserve to look down our noses at our own parents, maybe if someone had done it to them on the subject, a great many of us would have been spared. My parent's decision is definitely my business and 'impeding' on my life is an understatement.
(You may feel differently about this if you had some good times, or feel that your life wasn't a complete bust.)
I am unsure of what I contributed to the world, or what I will, but I know it will never be children, nor much more of my life.
Sorry
@Mr2005 I know I'm bugging you after you said you didn't want to get into this again. Just wanted to give my two cents.
Plus I think as far as people who come across more favorably, it's probably just an individual thing.
There are selfish and egotistical child-free folk same as there are with those who do have children, and with the inverse, more well-meaning and courteous individuals can come from either side of the fence as well.
Just depends who we cross paths with.
