Venting reasons for ending it

[ozenn]

i don't think any of my reasons for wanting to die are bad or concrete enough to warrant actually killing myself. im constantly thinking about needing the worst to happen to me so that i have what feels like a real reason. that and also just generally wanting horrible things to happen to me just because. i don't think i want it's because i feel i deserve it, i really just want to get used and have something happen. for the sake of it and also to have a better excuse for just wanting to die

 

[somethingisntreal]

If it gives you any solace - I feel the same. You're not alone in this. I've been very fortunate in my life. My life is perfect yet I fail to find any meaning in it. As horrible as it sounds, I wish my parents were abusive. I wish they hit me and punished me every time I mess up. A worthless pile of meat like me doesn't deserve to be treated with kindness. Justifying my suicide ideation would be so much easier if I had something bad happen to me in my life. Right now, I just sound stupid and delusional whenever I try to share my thoughts with my therapist.

 

[Oreki]

Life itself already feels like enough of a punishment to me