Really effin miserable

[downndone2]

I'm miserable....
Between the physical pain and other issues, theres the constant loneliness and depression. I isolate myself all the time
Only a few people outside of family that I have in life
I've got to press on with this life until 2023. If it hasnt changed by then I'm out
My dogs have kept me going thus far and I feel they need more than I can offer them most days
The last few years have really fucked me
I hope by the time 2023 comes around, I've either found some more hope or the balls to ctb

I'm either checking into a hotel somewhere and drinking N
Or going to Pegasos

Should I order N now or am i safe to wait until the time is closer? I saw a few posts that seem to elude N may "dry up"

 

[Freedomindeath4me]

If you're sure then definitely order asap.

 

[UnravelingWinter]

I hope this year gets better for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. This life really is so depressing. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[MellowAvenue]

Honestly I'd suggest ordering it now. It's kind of a win-win. If you have it now but change your mind just don't use it, if you don't but then you're still sure you may run into an issue where you can't get it only prolonging your misery and possibly resorting to a more desperate method. Course it could also give you more time to reflect to decide if this is really what you want.

I wish you well in whatever you decide to do.

 

[rabbitlinnt10]

I'm sorry I know how hard it is, we all understand …

 

[downndone2]

If you're sure then definitely order asap.

Asap as in like right now or within a few months?

 

[its-about-time]

My dog has so far been a big part of keeping me here too. I often feel like a terrible dog parent. She doesn't get the exercise and attention she deserves. I just lay lifeless on the couch most days from wake up to bed. She's old now and doesn't seem to mind much anymore but it was harder on her in her younger years. I've thought about killing her with me many times. I love her so much. At the end of the day though she just likes being with me. Your dogs are probably the same. Sure we could be better owners but I don't think dogs judge. They just love you. Almost no matter what. It's very sweet.

 

[Crazy4u]

I suggest you order now. N doesn't expire. D won't last forever

 

[downndone2]

I suggest you order now. N doesn't expire. D won't last forever

Yeah, I guess I'll get crypto set up. I need to research that, as I heard some options dont allow you to send payment for a month or longer. I'm in US and am also afraid of it getting intercepted. If it does and they charge me, I'll lose my professional license and be unable to work. Then I'll really be f#cked