Venting Realizing things

[TheMountainTreeEgg]

After taking a new perspective and looking from the outside I realized I'm not that great of a person, I wouldn't say that I'm a criminal or anything but also some people have this strange perspective that Im a "good" person. Sometimes I wonder why people put me in such a positive light when they don't really know me at all. idk Im just tired of all the shit in the world and I can't keep up this act.

 

[dragonofenvy]

What do you think makes you a bad person? You're completely certain this perception of yourself is true for all situations and people?

Sometimes I wonder why people put me in such a positive light when they don't really know me at all.

Maybe, when not knowing much about you, they see positive qualities about you. If they see those things, then they're there, no denying that. What do you think makes people think positively of you? When you figure that out, try to act in those ways. Everyone has good and bad aspects. Try to keep your good aspects in the light as much as you can, and forgive yourself if you're not perfect (much easier for me to say here than to do. In fact, I say it and don't do it myself!) Nobody is.

 

[TheMountainTreeEgg]

What do you think makes you a bad person? You're completely certain this perception of yourself is true for all situations and people?

Maybe, when not knowing much about you, they see positive qualities about you. If they see those things, then they're there, no denying that. What do you think makes people think positively of you? When you figure that out, try to act in those ways. Everyone has good and bad aspects. Try to keep your good aspects in the light as much as you can, and forgive yourself if you're not perfect (much easier for me to say here than to do. In fact, I say it and don't do it myself!) Nobody is.

yeah you're right, it just feels so impossible to do anything good. Im not completely certain this perception of yourself is true for all situations, but for some reason it feels like I haven't done anything significantly good in my life.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel like this also. I think people sometimes mistake me being reasonably polite and mild mannered for me being truly kind. I'm not thoroughly unkind but I doubt I'm as 'nice' as people might think I am.

I've known truly good people in life who literally spent a good deal of their time helping others with no expectation of reward. I'm certainly not actively good like that.

I suppose I don't like to hurt people. It truly bothers me when I think I have. But then, I suppose if I was that kind, I'd take care not to hurt them at all!

I absolutely retaliate though. While that isn't kind, I actually think that's necessary in life otherwise, people will walk all over others. Especially when they think they're meek enough to let them. I won't tolerate that now and I think it's actually better to stand up to people like that to make them realise they can't just bulldoze everyone in their path.

My perceived 'kindness/ goodness' also leads to even weirder situations though. Where other people can see that I'm not all together nice/ good. Maybe they get annoyed that they think I'm falsely representing myself or, that others have bought into the false representation but, they'll start citing where I've been less than pleasant.

It also goes the same with skill level in my job. I'm not that great. I know I'm not that great. I don't market myself as being so. Yet, sometimes when I've received really lovely compliments, others are quick to point out my failings.

Which is actually pretty hurtful in both instances really. Because you feel like- you're not actually claiming to be kind or talented yourself. You're just quietly living your life. Others have decided to give you a compliment, which has somehow annoyed another set of people who then work at belittling you. So you start to think- I wish they'd never even complimented me to begin with! If it's going to provoke a whole bunch of criticism by someone else! Especially when you weren't actually looking for either.

 

[aubrey!]

It's kinda funny, people tell me i'm a good person but when i ask why all they can say is "because you're nice to me"

but when i point out the things i've done that would make anyone else an awful person, they can't seem to explain it to me

 

[foreverfalling]

If I tell someone that they are a good person, I don't necessarily mean it. It may just be to make the other person feel good, or it might just be the 'right' thing to say in the moment.

 

[CogitoMori]

If I tell someone that they are a good person, I don't necessarily mean it. It may just be to make the other person feel good, or it might just be the 'right' thing to say in the moment.

If it's a lie it's not the right thing to say. Don't trick people into thinking you're understanding when you're not

 

[whyidon'tknow]

Yeah I've been told I'm a.good person but I don't think I am. Mediocre at best. I give in to my.insecurities and depression too much. I've hurt too many people