A
Alcoholic Failure
Member
- Apr 16, 2023
- 58
Growing up, I would distance myself from certain people based on their behavior and other things. I would categorize them and then build my life around their example of what not to be. My father being one of the biggest ones.
Turns out, after years of substance abuse, I have violated my standards quicker than I could lower them, and now I find myself identical with all the people I said I would never be like.
Since that realization, I have developed a severe hatred for myself. I hurt myself almost daily with cutting, physical exhaustion, burning, binge drinking, etc. I just can't let go of the past and move on anymore. Somebody has to pay. And I'm the only one to blame.
It's gotten me in the hospital quite a few times but the urge just doesn't stop.
Turns out, after years of substance abuse, I have violated my standards quicker than I could lower them, and now I find myself identical with all the people I said I would never be like.
Since that realization, I have developed a severe hatred for myself. I hurt myself almost daily with cutting, physical exhaustion, burning, binge drinking, etc. I just can't let go of the past and move on anymore. Somebody has to pay. And I'm the only one to blame.
It's gotten me in the hospital quite a few times but the urge just doesn't stop.