Ready to Go

[StarryStarry]

I'm sure you all are tired of hearing me bitch and complain about my life. I appreciate you reading and understanding. My time has come. My heart is broken because I couldn't find a home for my sweet girl, Sweet Pea. I had to leave her in the house with lots of food and water. I couldn't take her with me because I couldn't stand the thought of her dying because of my actions. The pain is too much. I am too damaged. There is nothing that can be done. My life has been over for a long time - I've just kept walking around and trying to be happy. I've cried so many tears I should have drown. I'll be leaving in a few days to get to my destination. I'll be seeing my little girl's resting place and buy her the most beautiful bunch of flowers to put on her grave. Then it will be time for me to join her. I'm not afraid. I should have ctb a long time ago. There is no one who will miss me; who will wonder where I've gone. I've been alone in my home for six months - with no one checking on me. So I know my life has meant absolutely nothing. My sadness, tears and anxiety are killing me. Now it's up to me to take it from here. I hope once I get to where I'm going someone from here will be with me til the end. I would so appreciate that.

 

[forgotten15]

I am sorry you are suffering so much. I understand your pain, I wish I could say something to comfort you but I know that nothing I could say will help. No matter what you choose in the end I hope you find the peace you deserve and all this pain goes away. I can tell you have a beautiful soul, I wish I knew someone like you in real life

 

[Foresight]

Please, always feel free to share your thoughts. Your story is very moving. I wish you well and some rest in these coming days. Is Sweet Pea a dog? Are you in the US?

 

[StarryStarry]

Please, always feel free to share your thoughts. Your story is very moving. I wish you well and some rest in these coming days. Is Sweet Pea a dog? Are you in the US?

Sweet Pea is my cat. I am in the US. In SC.

 

[onleana]

my heart is breaking for you. im sending you loots of hugs friend. i wish you peace and freedom from all suffering ❤

 

[Somber]

You are not alone in your loneliness. Many of us here are there with you, waiting for our time to come.

I don't want to presume to know the way you feel, but I understand you want to die because you lost your daughter?

I can't imagine her wanting you to die because of her. I would hate to think that my dad would do so over my suicide.

Whatever you choose to do is ultimately your choice. If you go through with it, I wish you peaceful travels, but know that you can't have both. If you CTB people will miss you.

I know I will.

I don't care if it makes me sound selfish.

 

[StarryStarry]

You are not alone in your loneliness. Many of us here are there with you, waiting for our time to come.

I don't want to presume to know the way you feel, but I understand you want to die because you lost your daughter?

I can't imagine her wanting you to die because of her. I would hate to think that my dad would do so over my suicide.

Whatever you choose to do is ultimately your choice. If you go through with it, I wish you peaceful travels, but know that you can't have both. If you CTB people will miss you.

I know I will.

I don't care if it makes me sound selfish.

Thank you for your kind words. There are numerous reasons for my ctb. My little girl, my age, I can't find a job and I'm at the point where I have to make a decision - pay rent or pay for my cremation.

 

[Unicornsrnot4dislife]

I am sorry for you pain and your lose. I'm sorry that you have had to suffer for so long. I wish that you find the peace that you deserve

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that it can be unbearable when you are suffering so much, I'm sorry that it has come to this. Life is so cruel and unfair. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Somber]

Thank you for your kind words. There are numerous reasons for my ctb. My little girl, my age, I can't find a job and I'm at the point where I have to make a decision - pay rent or pay for my cremation.

I don't know about job opportunities in SC but I'm sure there are in other states. With age comes experience, definitely a beneficial trait when going in for an interview.

And of course you choose to pay the rent, nobody has ever been brought back from the dead to pay for their cremation. That's the last thing you should be concerned with.

I believe in you.

 

[StarryStarry]

I don't know about job opportunities in SC but I'm sure there are in other states. With age comes experience, definitely a beneficial trait when going in for an interview.

And of course you choose to pay the rent, nobody has ever been brought back from the dead to pay for their cremation. That's the last thing you should be concerned with.

I believe in you.

If you were in front of me I would give you a huge hug for caring.

 

[Somber]

If you were in front of me I would give you a huge hug for caring.

Reminds me of the lyrics of a song (fitting for your name too):

And even though I know how very far apart we are,
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.

And when the night will start to sing a lonesome lullaby,
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky.

 

[miserableforever]

I am so sorry. I kinda know your story and it's been heartbreaking reading some of your posts. Not much to add here, other than I understand why you want to depart, I am a parent too. Your presence will be greatly missed. Hugs

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

Oh, Starry, how we'll miss you.

I wish I could give you a life worth living. I wish I could take away your pain. I wish I could take care of Sweet Pea and love her for you.

If you must go, I wish you whatever would make you most happy. Some kind of cosmic reunification with your daughter, perhaps?

If something changes, we are here waiting for your return.

Please know that you are loved and add something to our lives. You will be sorely missed.

 

[GentleJerk]

Tired of hearing you open up? Absolutely not! We are always happy to hear from you and I'm sure many of us wish there was something more we could do, but allowing you to have a place to talk about what you're going through is the very least we can give you. It's clear that you have experienced an unbelievable amount of pain and loss, for what it's worth, I'm so sorry that you have experienced so much sadness and loneliness. You deserve all the very best.