Ruffian
Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
- Jan 16, 2019
- 696
I am really curious to see people's thoughts on this. I know people with mental health issues are not seen as rational when deciding to commit suicide, but I don't really agree with this. If you look back on all the ways a diagnoses contributed to your misery, wouldn't it be rational? Or is just that you're supposed to believe hope is always around the corner? My sister was trying to motivate me by saying I could get back to where I was from this letdown. I was already down and out, and I don't feel like I even have anything to work on to get back to. Like back to what? I was already a member here before my latest shit went down.
I am not trying to downplay anyone with a terminal illness or chronic pain. I used to have this intense pain in my back in the thoracic spine that no doctor ever took seriously because, hey, everyone complains of lower back pain so it all must be in my head, right? I swear they see "bipolar" in your chart and assume anything coming out of your mouth is crazy talk. Anyway, I'd had it for a good 25 years and tried to learn to. live with it. I can't describe this pain, it felt like there was a fist of iron just squeezing that part of my spine. I was on vacation once and I remember it was so bad for a couple of minutes I really thought I was going to go completely insane. The thought of living with that pain the rest of my life was unfathomable. I've had a torn rotator cuff since then and I'll take that any day, seriously it was that bad. If I had been at a hotel with a balcony on a higher floor I honestly think I would have jumped without thinking. I finally found a doctor who took it seriously and she diagnosed me with neuralgia. If that pain ever comes back before I get my SN supplies together I think I would jump in front of train.
I am not trying to downplay anyone with a terminal illness or chronic pain. I used to have this intense pain in my back in the thoracic spine that no doctor ever took seriously because, hey, everyone complains of lower back pain so it all must be in my head, right? I swear they see "bipolar" in your chart and assume anything coming out of your mouth is crazy talk. Anyway, I'd had it for a good 25 years and tried to learn to. live with it. I can't describe this pain, it felt like there was a fist of iron just squeezing that part of my spine. I was on vacation once and I remember it was so bad for a couple of minutes I really thought I was going to go completely insane. The thought of living with that pain the rest of my life was unfathomable. I've had a torn rotator cuff since then and I'll take that any day, seriously it was that bad. If I had been at a hotel with a balcony on a higher floor I honestly think I would have jumped without thinking. I finally found a doctor who took it seriously and she diagnosed me with neuralgia. If that pain ever comes back before I get my SN supplies together I think I would jump in front of train.