Venting Racing agitation

[LittleJem]

I know I shouldn't be surprised. Just hate it so much.

Am planning on ending it this year. I guess if it is this bad, how can I expect to wake up to a good morning.

I'm lucky I had a benzo so when will it kick in.

Bed bound. So fed up.

 

[LittleJem]

I wish I could put this on FB. I wish I could say it to my family. Instead, I am trying to stick it out through the festive season. Not wanting to get out of bed. Not wanting to eat. Not tidying my room. So fucking pointless.

last night I dreamed of werewolves and I was calling help me, help me, help me. I kept waking up itching and needing the loo. Then today, I couldn't get out of bed until 6 PM or so - it's so scary. I could only get out of bed because of what I took to get out of bed. This is no fun at all. Trying to get to March for some reason or past the holiday season. So done and scared and tired.


My BF texted me to say call him when I'm happy. That never happens. I think I should break up with him before CTB.

This is bad. I can't stand this. I am giong to have to do some lines just to get up. Then buy more. How do I keep doing this, I hate it so much.

Once I am dead, for me there is so much rellief. 2025 it's time to go.