Discussion putting myself in dangerous situations

[zizzou]

any ideas for putting myself in dangerous positions where the risk of mortality is high? Joining a war for example - https://joinuarmy.org/en/.

 

[getoutgirl]

Hey, I've put myself in my fair share of dangerous situations on purpose to maybe die, at least get as close as posible to death. I feel u there.
But I've also seen your posts recently and I don't think you should be doing that right now. I'm not judging these thoughts, like I said I've done that and harmed myself in other ways, I get it, but what you need most now is support from all around, as much you can get. Grief is hell. You are going through that at the moment and probably in it's worst stages, it will remain, it will probably get easier, you've heard all that, it all does little to ease the immense pain you must be in at the moment. So I get where this thoughts come from. Just know you are not alone in that pain, that others share it, so find support in those people if you already haven't, grief groups, anything. I'm sure you already are but... just hold on to anything, the few grips you have.
Sorry if this sounds dismissive to your question. If you want an answer, yes war is pretty nasty and dangerous. You are already fighting your own. And you can't really win you can just hang in there. So try to do that, take it easy, if nothing of this is any comfort, at least have a big hug your way you need them <3

 

[zizzou]

Hey, I've put myself in my fair share of dangerous situations on purpose to maybe die, at least get as close as posible to death. I feel u there.
But I've also seen your posts recently and I don't think you should be doing that right now. I'm not judging these thoughts, like I said I've done that and harmed myself in other ways, I get it, but what you need most now is support from all around, as much you can get. Grief is hell. You are going through that at the moment and probably in it's worst stages, it will remain, it will probably get easier, you've heard all that, it all does little to ease the immense pain you must be in at the moment. So I get where this thoughts come from. Just know you are not alone in that pain, that others share it, so find support in those people if you already haven't, grief groups, anything. I'm sure you already are but... just hold on to anything, the few grips you have.
Sorry if this sounds dismissive to your question. If you want an answer, yes war is pretty nasty and dangerous. You are already fighting your own. And you can't really win you can just hang in there. So try to do that, take it easy, if nothing of this is any comfort, at least have a big hug your way you need them <3

I do have all the support I can get; friends, family, therapy. I'm lucky in that aspect. I guess it's just not enough, it's not her. I'm just really tired of the promise of life. I've had the best and worst of it now and if that's it than that's it, I don't want to know more. I know I sound kind of whiny but idk. I just can't accept this.

Thank you for your kindness. It's nice to feel some of her love again when I come across people like you.

 

[getoutgirl]

It is not whiny, it's very understandable, and the absolutes extremes of pain you are going through. There is very little words alone can do, any little is welcomed but still. I'm glad you have people around, a support group for grief is also rather essential, maybe you are going to one, I just didn't see it mentioned. there are some online ones https://whatsyourgrief.com/i-am-grieving/.
Just throwing stuff there like I said if it helps even just a tiny bit. I nor you can expect yourself to stop feeling this way any time soon still. At least try to not be harsh on yourself when you are able. Big hug <3

 

[zizzou]

It is not whiny, it's very understandable, and the absolutes extremes of pain you are going through. There is very little words alone can do, any little is welcomed but still. I'm glad you have people around, a support group for grief is also rather essential, maybe you are going to one, I just didn't see it mentioned. there are some online ones https://whatsyourgrief.com/i-am-grieving/.
Just throwing stuff there like I said if it helps even just a tiny bit. I nor you can expect yourself to stop feeling this way any time soon still. At least try to not be harsh on yourself when you are able. Big hug <3

Thank you, it's just that where I'm from the catch-all solution is to pray^TM. I'll go through the resource you shared. Do you have a similar story?