Venting Pussied out and life is temporarily ruined

[IHurtTheOneILove]

I could've pulled the trigger, I should've pulled the trigger but nooooooo I had to be a little bitch and not do it.

Told my mom the truth bcus there was a missing persons report out for me apparently.

Gun has been taken away and I'm probably back to the funny farm, fuck this life

 

[INTJme]

It's okay. Don't be too hard on yourself.

 

[iloverachel]

I could've pulled the trigger, I should've pulled the trigger but nooooooo I had to be a little bitch and not do it.

Told my mom the truth bcus there was a missing persons report out for me apparently.

Gun has been taken away and I'm probably back to the funny farm, fuck this life

I am sorry that your attempt failed
Like the user above said, don't be too hard on yourself
Pulling the trigger with the gun pointing at you is some seriously scary stuff that most people wouldn't have the courage to do

Keep us updated my friend

 

[etherealgoddess]

I could've pulled the trigger, I should've pulled the trigger but nooooooo I had to be a little bitch and not do it.

Told my mom the truth bcus there was a missing persons report out for me apparently.

Gun has been taken away and I'm probably back to the funny farm, fuck this life

It's not really something to blame yourself for. Survival instinct is a real thing. We wouldn't survive as a species if it was so easy to kill ourselves. This can be a sign you want to live, too.

 

[UKscotty]

Be gentle on yourself.

Your mind must have found some hope at life and it isn't your time yet.

There is no rush.

 

[bramblebamblebambe]

You're not a pussy I don't know exactly what it is, but when we are that distressed or in fight or flight or when adrenaline and cortisol are activated our I think it's the hippocampus in the brain? Not sure anyway our thinking isn't the same, we do not think clearly and thoughts can bounce from one extreme to another, we can be more impulsive, and it can be overwhelming and confusing and then plus survival instinct thrown in, it's an exhausting rollercoaster.

Attempting suicide is traumatic, even more so with the care and support from mental health services afterwards not being appropriate or understanding the gravity and turmoil the person has gone through often minimizing and invalidating their experience and them feeling worse and now trapped for not going through with it.

I think perhaps maybe a lot of people on here have experienced something similar to you, I know I have, you're not alone, I know you probably feel so many different emotions right now, but you are not a pussy and it is a very human thing that you have experienced.

 

[yearsoflonliness]

I totally understand SI and not being able to go through with it, but I don't understand why you would ever tell someone about it. As you said, now your life will be worse and your method with a great chance of working is gone. The more you tell others the harder it will be to go through with it. Which, if you're indecisive, may be a good thing. Hey, at least you got to enjoy some good food and nature for a bit!

I do agree with others though. Be gentle with yourself. You're not a pussy. Things will be harder now for sure. I hope things work out for you going forward and I wish you the best.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry, SI is so hard to be defeated. Don't be too hard to yourself. Maybe there is still hope for you, deep inside you, as u have told your mom everything and handed over the gun. I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do. Good luck!

 

[offtoseethewizard]

be kind to yourself. It won't be forever and you might meet some interesting people in there. I know I did

 

[billie]

Maybe your time just hasn't come yet

 

[restingplace]

I could've pulled the trigger, I should've pulled the trigger but nooooooo I had to be a little bitch and not do it.

Told my mom the truth bcus there was a missing persons report out for me apparently.

Gun has been taken away and I'm probably back to the funny farm, fuck this life

Hey its okay, your method is extremely scary because there's basically a guarantee that it will work. Don't be hard on yourself and give yourself some time. In the recovery forum I've seen some stuff on how to cope with an unsuccessful attempt so you might benefit looking there ♡

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

I totally understand SI and not being able to go through with it, but I don't understand why you would ever tell someone about it. As you said, now your life will be worse and your method with a great chance of working is gone. The more you tell others the harder it will be to go through with it. Which, if you're indecisive, may be a good thing. Hey, at least you got to enjoy some good food and nature for a bit!

I do agree with others though. Be gentle with yourself. You're not a pussy. Things will be harder now for sure. I hope things work out for you going forward and I wish you the best.

I told my family because I currently live with my parents as I'm a first year college student. It will make things harder but since I live with them still I have to follow some rules to not be homeless lmao, I regret not pulling the trigger but we'll see.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I could've pulled the trigger, I should've pulled the trigger but nooooooo I had to be a little bitch and not do it.

Told my mom the truth bcus there was a missing persons report out for me apparently.

Gun has been taken away and I'm probably back to the funny farm, fuck this life

I will take sedatives before shooting myself.