PapaYeehaw
Indecisive 🧘♀️
- Nov 28, 2021
- 36
Around September, I went to the urgent care near me because my mom wanted to see if I could get medication for my PMDD symptoms (pms on steroids). The nurses asked me a few times if I was suicidal or had any dark thoughts, and I said no to every question. I told them I was just feeling depressed from my PMDD and wanted to learn my options.
And of course, they Baker Acted me anyway. They didn't tell my mom anything, just made her leave. Spent 6 days in a 1 star, freezing cold, mold and bug infested psych ward. Didn't sleep the entire time, which gave me a terrible stutter by the 4th day. Now when its cold, I feel terrified and like everything is a chore. Now when i get slightly tired and don't have ear plugs on hand, I have a panic attack. The smell of bleach gives me panic attacks. I am too scared to ever reach out for help again. That was the first, and only time.
I was luckily in the nicer unit because I heard horror stories from the other unit. Some of the dorms weren't even seperated by gender, but I still had my fair share of sexual harassment from the older dudes in our unit. I didn't see a therapist or anything. We didn't even have coloring books or crayons. The only thing to do was play apples to apples, or watch the shitty TV with a broken speaker so you couldn't understand it.
I thought at least I made it out with friends, but the girl I became best friends with in there blocked me on everything with no explanation (seems to be a common theme in my life). If I die, this PTSD is the main reason. I can't take these feelings of anger and anxiety. Worst part is that they charged us almost 20k for the whole ordeal, especially since they forced me into an ambulance twice. I promise yall, I was 100% fine sounding and calm until they told me I got baker acted, then I lost my shit and punched the fuck out of myself. I want to go back to the urgent care and tell them all off. Make my suicide note all about how baker acting usually makes people worse. Not like they'd ever care though.
Moral of the story: fuck Florida
And of course, they Baker Acted me anyway. They didn't tell my mom anything, just made her leave. Spent 6 days in a 1 star, freezing cold, mold and bug infested psych ward. Didn't sleep the entire time, which gave me a terrible stutter by the 4th day. Now when its cold, I feel terrified and like everything is a chore. Now when i get slightly tired and don't have ear plugs on hand, I have a panic attack. The smell of bleach gives me panic attacks. I am too scared to ever reach out for help again. That was the first, and only time.
I was luckily in the nicer unit because I heard horror stories from the other unit. Some of the dorms weren't even seperated by gender, but I still had my fair share of sexual harassment from the older dudes in our unit. I didn't see a therapist or anything. We didn't even have coloring books or crayons. The only thing to do was play apples to apples, or watch the shitty TV with a broken speaker so you couldn't understand it.
I thought at least I made it out with friends, but the girl I became best friends with in there blocked me on everything with no explanation (seems to be a common theme in my life). If I die, this PTSD is the main reason. I can't take these feelings of anger and anxiety. Worst part is that they charged us almost 20k for the whole ordeal, especially since they forced me into an ambulance twice. I promise yall, I was 100% fine sounding and calm until they told me I got baker acted, then I lost my shit and punched the fuck out of myself. I want to go back to the urgent care and tell them all off. Make my suicide note all about how baker acting usually makes people worse. Not like they'd ever care though.
Moral of the story: fuck Florida
